Tuesday, February 21, 2006
I can fit.....I just have to hold my head right....
not content to just play quietly while I try and get my thesis written, charlotte has now taken to climbing in and around my computer desk to get my attention. I have a laptop so don't require the space where the computer case would normally go. Charlotte has decided it makes a neat cubby.....
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Australian's all let us rejoice........... or....... Bernard Fanning you're a legend!!
January 26th. Australia Day and Triple J's hottest 100 countdown (Bernard Fanning came in at #1 with "Wish you well"). No wonder every year we celebrate - two great occasions on one day!! So inevitably every year we have a BBQ. But this is never a planned event. Despite knowing that every year without fail these events WILL occur on the one day, we always leave our invites until about 24 hours before the event. I'm not sure why we do this - it invariably means we forget people (sorry if you didn't get an invite, maybe next year!!) and it always means that I spend the morning before running around like a headless chook (or chooken according to Henry) picking up meat and salads and rolls and green and yellow paper plates and a multitude of other things that we don't have just lying around waiting for 12 people to descend on us!! I am so unorganised. Anyway, so we hung out bbq-ing and drinking.
Here is Charlotte before everyone arrived, just kicking back, not being at all helpful with the preparations!!!
And here is another photo of the legendary Xmas present from Beck.....
Darling Charlotte had been up since 5am so when everyone left not long after 6pm I can't say I was sorry - as delightful a day as it had been..... I was exhausted!!! I believe I was asleep by 8.... how tragic.
Here is Charlotte before everyone arrived, just kicking back, not being at all helpful with the preparations!!!
And here is another photo of the legendary Xmas present from Beck.....
Darling Charlotte had been up since 5am so when everyone left not long after 6pm I can't say I was sorry - as delightful a day as it had been..... I was exhausted!!! I believe I was asleep by 8.... how tragic.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
My first Toesday
This one's for you Beck - I'm too beat to post anything else, but I came across this photo taken when Charlotte was 6 weeks old - not my feet I'd like to point out - I borrowed all toes from my husband and daughter!!
And here's a print of those luscious little toes on daddy's first father's day card...
And here's a print of those luscious little toes on daddy's first father's day card...
Thursday, January 19, 2006
A day to remember
Well it's been three years today since my mum passed away. I still miss her every day. This one day of all days though is usually a tough one for me so I took a sickie from work. Well, actually that's not entirely true - I told them exactly why I wasn't coming in today and then took the day off without pay - all above board and everything. I decided I was taking today to celebrate life with my daughter. I know that somehow Mum was watching over us.
as part of my 'celebrate life' day I decided not to get upset or stressed about anything. The day started out nicely with Charlotte taking a good nap from about 8.30 this morning. While she was asleep I packed up our things ready for a trip to the shops when she awoke. At 11am we headed for Brookside Shopping Centre where I purchased some pressies for Dave's upcoming birthday and this swanky little number.
It's only 4kgs.... and folds into a backpack as shown!! How cool is that? I love parenthood - so many more new toys to play with!
While I love our Steelcraft Terrain Deluxe pram, I also needed a light and easy to fold little number for those quick trips to the shop when you just don't want to lift a 12kg pram in and out of the car.
So shopping under control (though as per usual I forgot about 5 items that I will have to go back out for later .... how I would survive on a remote property where you have to travel 2 hours into town for groceries once a month I'll never know!!)
On our return it was lunchtime for charlotte and I decided to let her feed herself spaghetti (remember a day of not being stressed out or cranky). It was hilarious...
Where did that pesky piece of spaghetti go??
Oh there they all are!!
I'm still finding bits of pasta on the floor (though Sophie the Hoover dog has eaten most of it thank goodness...saves me mopping the floors!!!). As you can see, much of it ended up NOT in her mouth. But boy it must have felt good in her hands as I had to pry a piece out 20 minutes later..... she LOVED it.
I then decided that as much fun as we were having, I really needed to get some washing up done, but she just wanted to be entertained. Of course, her idea of entertainment while in the kitchen is to pull each and every can and bottle out of our recycling box. After taking her away from it three times I finally decided that an alternate plaything was called for. Enter the tupperware box.
Of course, we now have to wash all of the tupperware before we use it.... and it didn't take anywhere near long enough to empty out as I would have liked, but she seemed to have fun.
as part of my 'celebrate life' day I decided not to get upset or stressed about anything. The day started out nicely with Charlotte taking a good nap from about 8.30 this morning. While she was asleep I packed up our things ready for a trip to the shops when she awoke. At 11am we headed for Brookside Shopping Centre where I purchased some pressies for Dave's upcoming birthday and this swanky little number.
It's only 4kgs.... and folds into a backpack as shown!! How cool is that? I love parenthood - so many more new toys to play with!
While I love our Steelcraft Terrain Deluxe pram, I also needed a light and easy to fold little number for those quick trips to the shop when you just don't want to lift a 12kg pram in and out of the car.
So shopping under control (though as per usual I forgot about 5 items that I will have to go back out for later .... how I would survive on a remote property where you have to travel 2 hours into town for groceries once a month I'll never know!!)
On our return it was lunchtime for charlotte and I decided to let her feed herself spaghetti (remember a day of not being stressed out or cranky). It was hilarious...
Where did that pesky piece of spaghetti go??
Oh there they all are!!
I'm still finding bits of pasta on the floor (though Sophie the Hoover dog has eaten most of it thank goodness...saves me mopping the floors!!!). As you can see, much of it ended up NOT in her mouth. But boy it must have felt good in her hands as I had to pry a piece out 20 minutes later..... she LOVED it.
I then decided that as much fun as we were having, I really needed to get some washing up done, but she just wanted to be entertained. Of course, her idea of entertainment while in the kitchen is to pull each and every can and bottle out of our recycling box. After taking her away from it three times I finally decided that an alternate plaything was called for. Enter the tupperware box.
Of course, we now have to wash all of the tupperware before we use it.... and it didn't take anywhere near long enough to empty out as I would have liked, but she seemed to have fun.
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Twenty sleeps and counting
Today has been a little quieter, I've only managed to wash up, sterilise bottles and do a little bit on my Chapter Six, download some photos of Charlotte - and it's already 10am, I really have wasted a morning haven't I? Firstly let me draw your attention to a previous post on financial, swimming, and falling woes where photos are now availabe from the first swimming lesson. They aren't great photos, though Lorraine did try. But between the glass and a less than happy little girl, it wasn't really a great photo op. Please note the new pink swimmers Lib, though there will be better photos taken in the sandpit where you can actually see them!!!
Now for the real news - THERE ARE ONLY 20 MORE SLEEPS UNTIL THE GIRL WEEKEND FROM HEAVEN!! Yes folks, I am taking a break. I am leaving Brisbane sans child and heading for Sydney. Lib and I will then drive up to the Hunter Valley where we will partake of plenty of wine and good food while we enjoy an evening of Missy Higgins at A day on the green. I really can't wait.
Now for the real news - THERE ARE ONLY 20 MORE SLEEPS UNTIL THE GIRL WEEKEND FROM HEAVEN!! Yes folks, I am taking a break. I am leaving Brisbane sans child and heading for Sydney. Lib and I will then drive up to the Hunter Valley where we will partake of plenty of wine and good food while we enjoy an evening of Missy Higgins at A day on the green. I really can't wait.
Friday, January 13, 2006
A letter from Charlotte
Dear Auntie Libby,
Mummy got me all decked out in my togs today and took me down to the sandpit - with camera in hand she lined me up for a photo so that we could show you how adorable I look in your present ..... alas, despite having charged the batteries last night, she had put them back in the camera and then inadvertently (that's a big word for a little girl isn't it?) turned the camera on so that all the battery power ran out AGAIN!! Mummy is a bit tired lately and doing some silly things. Forgive her. She said we will try again tomorrow.
Love from Charlotte
xoxoxo
Mummy got me all decked out in my togs today and took me down to the sandpit - with camera in hand she lined me up for a photo so that we could show you how adorable I look in your present ..... alas, despite having charged the batteries last night, she had put them back in the camera and then inadvertently (that's a big word for a little girl isn't it?) turned the camera on so that all the battery power ran out AGAIN!! Mummy is a bit tired lately and doing some silly things. Forgive her. She said we will try again tomorrow.
Love from Charlotte
xoxoxo
A Type-A start to the day
Hi all. It's 9.45am here. So far this morning I've:
1. done three loads of washing
2. mopped the floors in the kitchen and cleaned out the bins
3. given charlotte her breakfast, bottle and changed three nappies
4. folded two baskets of laundry and put them away
(okay, i left Dave's on the bed to put away himself - bad wife that I am)
5. tidied up the loungeroom
6. put Charli's toys away in their box
(she then promptly pulled them all out again - the lounge doesn't actually look any better!!)
7. had a shower
(this in itself is worth a mention because it doesn't always happen before noon!!)
I'm sure there's more but does that give you an idea? I should of course, now that she's sleeping, go and have a lie down, but seriously, once you've done all of that work, who is relaxed enough to sleep?? - in fact I'm hungry now from all the energy I've expended (actually I'm ALWAYS hungry but I'm going to use the working hard excuse anyway).
Anyway, there's more washing to do, a sickly husband to take to the GP, post office errands to run (some crap I bought off the internet for Dave's birthday is defective and must be returned), medicare to brave (oh lordy I hate that place), and I guess I should map out the next week's meals, do up a shopping list and brave the grocery store...... Libby, if you're out there... how many sleeps until the Hunter-Valley-divine relaxation-child free-wine drinking-missy higgins-filled weekend??? I need to know!!!
1. done three loads of washing
2. mopped the floors in the kitchen and cleaned out the bins
3. given charlotte her breakfast, bottle and changed three nappies
4. folded two baskets of laundry and put them away
(okay, i left Dave's on the bed to put away himself - bad wife that I am)
5. tidied up the loungeroom
6. put Charli's toys away in their box
(she then promptly pulled them all out again - the lounge doesn't actually look any better!!)
7. had a shower
(this in itself is worth a mention because it doesn't always happen before noon!!)
I'm sure there's more but does that give you an idea? I should of course, now that she's sleeping, go and have a lie down, but seriously, once you've done all of that work, who is relaxed enough to sleep?? - in fact I'm hungry now from all the energy I've expended (actually I'm ALWAYS hungry but I'm going to use the working hard excuse anyway).
Anyway, there's more washing to do, a sickly husband to take to the GP, post office errands to run (some crap I bought off the internet for Dave's birthday is defective and must be returned), medicare to brave (oh lordy I hate that place), and I guess I should map out the next week's meals, do up a shopping list and brave the grocery store...... Libby, if you're out there... how many sleeps until the Hunter-Valley-divine relaxation-child free-wine drinking-missy higgins-filled weekend??? I need to know!!!
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Still no teeth.....OUCH, oh hang on....
So while at the Child Health Nurse yesterday I was asked for the umpteenth time whether she had any teeth. Loud sigh from me, "no still no teeth", and shove my finger in her mouth as if to prove my point - and THERE IT WAS. Right where a first tooth should be, bottom front left tooth. hardly really a tooth at all though. So here is the photo of her first tooth .........
can you see it? No? Well that's because I haven't bloody seen it either...."Charlotte, just show mummy sweetie, open your mouth" At this point she clamped her little lips together and shook her head. Finally she obligingly opened her mouth and then proceeded to stick her tongue over her bottom lip so I couldn't see squat - thanks honey, that's very helpful. little monkey. she had a cheeky glint in her eye. I did finally manage to spy it - though the chances of me capturing it with the camera are slim to none - and it looks like nothing more than a tiny whitehead on her gum. It has the distinct feel however of a razor sharp puppy tooth so I won't be shoving my finger in there again any time soon.
Okay, I lie, I have since put my finger in her mouth about a trillion times since I discovered it yesterday. I'm hoping I'm not the only insane mother to do this - help me out girls.... girls?
Anyway, at least I can breathe a sigh of relief now, knowing that she won't still be gumming her food to death at the age of five - I was beginning to think she might!!
can you see it? No? Well that's because I haven't bloody seen it either...."Charlotte, just show mummy sweetie, open your mouth" At this point she clamped her little lips together and shook her head. Finally she obligingly opened her mouth and then proceeded to stick her tongue over her bottom lip so I couldn't see squat - thanks honey, that's very helpful. little monkey. she had a cheeky glint in her eye. I did finally manage to spy it - though the chances of me capturing it with the camera are slim to none - and it looks like nothing more than a tiny whitehead on her gum. It has the distinct feel however of a razor sharp puppy tooth so I won't be shoving my finger in there again any time soon.
Okay, I lie, I have since put my finger in her mouth about a trillion times since I discovered it yesterday. I'm hoping I'm not the only insane mother to do this - help me out girls.... girls?
Anyway, at least I can breathe a sigh of relief now, knowing that she won't still be gumming her food to death at the age of five - I was beginning to think she might!!
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Financial, swimming and falling woes.
Well, it's been a busy few days here readers. I'd like to say it's because I've been powering along on my thesis but all I've managed to do on that in the last week is find about 5 articles I need to read (I found them, printed them off and there they sit on my computer waiting to be read - I haven't even stapled them, how sad. And I call myself a Type A personality - ha).
Well, the banks gave us a big fat raspberry, and two credit card companies have laughed in our faces - seriously, where are all these dodgy credit companies whose only criteria is that you can stand upright and have an opposable thumb??? (this is not a rhetorical question people - all dodgy credit company referrals greatly accepted!).
Today we went swimming.
It was not a good experience. Gone are the days of my little muffin being social and chatty and smiley. Two days ago, that child left and in her place I seem to have a clingy, scared, shy little person who has learnt to grip onto mummy's waist with her toes at the slightest sign that she's going to be put down.... I'm trying to tell myself to love this stage where she desperately wants to be with me. I know that all too soon she'll barely cast me a backwards glance as she slams the front door behind her on her way to some cool party, the likes of which I as a nerdy mother will no doubt never have experienced. oh Charlotte, if only you could know of the many parties your mummy went to .... met your daddy at one actually ;) but I digress (again).
which brings me to the falling. this i have not managed to capture on camera. I could take a photo of the split second after a fall where she freezes and draws breathe for the scream which will ensue - or I could in fact take a photo of the sad little face as she calms down, complete with bottom lip out and tears down the cheeks. but of course, that doesn't seem an appropriate time to rush for the camera. yes, the falls are coming thick and fast. standing is the favourite pastime at the moment - unfortunately, with standing does not always come a great sense of balance and hence the multitude of bruises..... I won't post those, just my luck I'd have DOCS banging at my door (that's the dept of child services to those of you who don't know).... or is it community services?? either way....
Well, the banks gave us a big fat raspberry, and two credit card companies have laughed in our faces - seriously, where are all these dodgy credit companies whose only criteria is that you can stand upright and have an opposable thumb??? (this is not a rhetorical question people - all dodgy credit company referrals greatly accepted!).
Today we went swimming.
It was not a good experience. Gone are the days of my little muffin being social and chatty and smiley. Two days ago, that child left and in her place I seem to have a clingy, scared, shy little person who has learnt to grip onto mummy's waist with her toes at the slightest sign that she's going to be put down.... I'm trying to tell myself to love this stage where she desperately wants to be with me. I know that all too soon she'll barely cast me a backwards glance as she slams the front door behind her on her way to some cool party, the likes of which I as a nerdy mother will no doubt never have experienced. oh Charlotte, if only you could know of the many parties your mummy went to .... met your daddy at one actually ;) but I digress (again).
which brings me to the falling. this i have not managed to capture on camera. I could take a photo of the split second after a fall where she freezes and draws breathe for the scream which will ensue - or I could in fact take a photo of the sad little face as she calms down, complete with bottom lip out and tears down the cheeks. but of course, that doesn't seem an appropriate time to rush for the camera. yes, the falls are coming thick and fast. standing is the favourite pastime at the moment - unfortunately, with standing does not always come a great sense of balance and hence the multitude of bruises..... I won't post those, just my luck I'd have DOCS banging at my door (that's the dept of child services to those of you who don't know).... or is it community services?? either way....
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
So close!!!
Well I am THIS close (imagine thumb and forefinger a mere centimetre apart as I say that) to getting the backyard done - but alas the bank insists I am over-extended financially. In fact they were a little surprised that I could even support my current liabilities let alone consider borrowing more money - of course they fail to realise that I took out all of those loans while working full-time. Anyway, to take a step back, Dave and I finally admitted to ourselves that the backyard would best be tackled by a professional (i.e. someone who would actually finish it before Charlotte goes to school!!). And all in all his quote has come out only costing us $4000 more than it would have cost us to do ourselves - and it will be finished in less than 2 weeks he insists. I believe the weekends of blood, sweat and yelling at each other that we will avoid are well worth the money!! Now I just have to figure out how to convince the banks I can afford it!! Will keep you all updated!!
Monday, January 02, 2006
Add 1950's housewife to my list of roles...
So in the spirit of blogging gifts (and of course in my competitive nature I wanted to beat everyone else to it).... here is the gift from Beck ..... complete with matching silicone spatula (or meanie as my husband calls them).....Thank you Beck I love it.....and here it is in all it's glory being modelled as I bake a toffee chip cheesecake.... Mmmmmmm.
And Charlotte wanted me to blog her gift from Aunty Libby - but it will have to wait until tomorrow because Mummy hasn't taken a decent photo ..... I'm sure you'll all wait with bated breath.... :)
And Charlotte wanted me to blog her gift from Aunty Libby - but it will have to wait until tomorrow because Mummy hasn't taken a decent photo ..... I'm sure you'll all wait with bated breath.... :)
Christmas to New Years Eve.......The final days of 2005
Well, it's a little tragic that I should be catching you all up on the final week of 2005 when in fact it is now the second day of 2006 - what can I say? I've been busy.... what's new huh?
First let me begin by recounting all of the achievements of Christmas Day. Charli girl's first visit from Santa..... and didn't she just LOVE the wrapping paper!! Not that I'm surprised really - I always knew that Dave and I would have more fun with her gifts than she would - she is only 8 months old after all. But the biggest gift for me was probably the moment that she crawled over to me (proper little girl crawling, none of this Army-style commando crawling she seems hell bent on..) pulled herself up onto her knees holding onto the couch/my legs and then pushed her little feet under her and stood up - ALL ON HER OWN.... Dave and I clapped for joy (scaring the shit out of her I might add) and in that moment I realised that life would never be the same. Okay, I guess I should have realised that the day I gave birth to her but the standing on her own - wow, our house is so not ready for this!!
Then when we went to the in-laws for lunch (with her dressed in the most adorable outfit don't you think!!??)
I was showing them how she could stand on her own and then - as if on cue - and knowing that all eyes were upon her... rather than just standing there with her little knees locked in place, swaying back and forth as if she'd consumed one too many beers - she took four little steps and fell into my arms. The applause that ensued was deafening. She giggled as she realised that she was in fact the centre of attention (again) and hasn't taken a step since!! That's my girl - just waiting for the right audience before she performs again!! :)
Then Beck turned up from Sydney and we had a lovely couple of days doing what we usually do when she's here - sweet nothing!! We cruised the shopping centres, sat in airconditioning, sat in the wading pool and sandpit in the back yard - oh and drank.... let's not forget the drinking!! Presents galore abounded (but more on that in my next post.....
All in all a lovely Christmas, a wonderful visit from friends and then rounded off with a nice relaxing New Year in our backyard with all of our other friends that have no lives.... a last minute BBQ that ended for me at 11pm (I couldn't even be bothered seeing in the new year - hard to feel inspired when you know you're going to be roused out of bed at 4.30am by she who will remain nameless!!)....
Happy 2006 to you all!
First let me begin by recounting all of the achievements of Christmas Day. Charli girl's first visit from Santa..... and didn't she just LOVE the wrapping paper!! Not that I'm surprised really - I always knew that Dave and I would have more fun with her gifts than she would - she is only 8 months old after all. But the biggest gift for me was probably the moment that she crawled over to me (proper little girl crawling, none of this Army-style commando crawling she seems hell bent on..) pulled herself up onto her knees holding onto the couch/my legs and then pushed her little feet under her and stood up - ALL ON HER OWN.... Dave and I clapped for joy (scaring the shit out of her I might add) and in that moment I realised that life would never be the same. Okay, I guess I should have realised that the day I gave birth to her but the standing on her own - wow, our house is so not ready for this!!
Then when we went to the in-laws for lunch (with her dressed in the most adorable outfit don't you think!!??)
I was showing them how she could stand on her own and then - as if on cue - and knowing that all eyes were upon her... rather than just standing there with her little knees locked in place, swaying back and forth as if she'd consumed one too many beers - she took four little steps and fell into my arms. The applause that ensued was deafening. She giggled as she realised that she was in fact the centre of attention (again) and hasn't taken a step since!! That's my girl - just waiting for the right audience before she performs again!! :)
Then Beck turned up from Sydney and we had a lovely couple of days doing what we usually do when she's here - sweet nothing!! We cruised the shopping centres, sat in airconditioning, sat in the wading pool and sandpit in the back yard - oh and drank.... let's not forget the drinking!! Presents galore abounded (but more on that in my next post.....
All in all a lovely Christmas, a wonderful visit from friends and then rounded off with a nice relaxing New Year in our backyard with all of our other friends that have no lives.... a last minute BBQ that ended for me at 11pm (I couldn't even be bothered seeing in the new year - hard to feel inspired when you know you're going to be roused out of bed at 4.30am by she who will remain nameless!!)....
Happy 2006 to you all!
Friday, December 23, 2005
Santa Claus is coming to town....
Well, last week did the obligatory trip to see santa and have a photo taken. Of course as any parent who is being honest with themselves will tell you, when your child is only 8 months old (or anything less than a year I think) then this trip is totally about you. THEY don't even know who Santa is besides being this big fat hairy guy in a really loud red suit - and he's probably sweaty and smelly to boot. after all, the poor guy is sitting in knee high black boots, wearing a full length suit and sporting facial hair that would rival a wooly mammoth - aircon or no aircon, he's gotta be dying in that thing!!
What's more, I spent forty minutes in line - FORTY MINUTES I tell you. Thankfully we had fun by amusing ourselves with the "catch me mum I'm falling backwards game"..... after forty minutes of this game - wherein charli girl would fling herself backwards, I would catch her, and she would giggle herself stupid - well you can imagine I was ready to leave charlotte in the pram to queue up herself - in the hopes that someone would snap a photo when she finally made it to the front of the queue. anyway, we finally made it there - see photo below.
I'd like to point out to Libby that I scored my photos for only $8. The trick was not to go to Myareyouahoplifter Santa where while I would only have had to wait 5 minutes due to his unpopularity, I would have had to take out a second mortgage on our property to pay for the photo. Of course there are other reasons not to go to Myareyouahoplifter as Michelle can attest to. After that debacle we now boycott the store.
Anyway - all in all very pleased with our first Santa experience - and she even smiled :)
What's more, I spent forty minutes in line - FORTY MINUTES I tell you. Thankfully we had fun by amusing ourselves with the "catch me mum I'm falling backwards game"..... after forty minutes of this game - wherein charli girl would fling herself backwards, I would catch her, and she would giggle herself stupid - well you can imagine I was ready to leave charlotte in the pram to queue up herself - in the hopes that someone would snap a photo when she finally made it to the front of the queue. anyway, we finally made it there - see photo below.
I'd like to point out to Libby that I scored my photos for only $8. The trick was not to go to Myareyouahoplifter Santa where while I would only have had to wait 5 minutes due to his unpopularity, I would have had to take out a second mortgage on our property to pay for the photo. Of course there are other reasons not to go to Myareyouahoplifter as Michelle can attest to. After that debacle we now boycott the store.
Anyway - all in all very pleased with our first Santa experience - and she even smiled :)
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Things I would tell my Mum this Christmas if she were here
Michelle you've inspired me. What a wonderful idea. Things I would tell my Mum if she were here this Christmas - oh my gosh, where do I begin?
Mum, meet your grand-daughter Charlotte. She is beautiful and I know you would love her very much.
I promise to instil in her all the wonder and amazement of Christmas that you instilled in me for all those years
I watch the DVD we made for you often. It still amazes me when I see you with me as a baby and my breathe catches in my throat for a moment as realisation dawns that I am now a Mum.
I keep in touch with my godparents often. They are my supports now that you are not here.
I miss you every day.
The nurses at Mt Olivet think you sent me a beautiful daughter.
One day I will finish this PhD. It will be dedicated to you - the strongest role model a girl could ever have.
Libby and I are once again as thick as thieves. We talk of you often. The physical distance between us does nothing to dampen our support of each other (though we could handle being able to have a wine together a little more often :)
Christmas has never been the same since you went away. I hope as Charlotte gets older I can re-capture some of that Christmas spirit.
I haven't spoken to Desley since you died - I hope you can understand why.
My friends are my family - I have some amazing friends. You would love them. They look out for me.
I hope that Scamp found you wherever you are. We miss him every day too. When Charlotte is being 'naughty' we think of Scamp. We're pretty sure she is Scamp re-incarnated ;)
I could write a book on things I would say to you this Christmas if you were here.
I love you.
Mum, meet your grand-daughter Charlotte. She is beautiful and I know you would love her very much.
I promise to instil in her all the wonder and amazement of Christmas that you instilled in me for all those years
I watch the DVD we made for you often. It still amazes me when I see you with me as a baby and my breathe catches in my throat for a moment as realisation dawns that I am now a Mum.
I keep in touch with my godparents often. They are my supports now that you are not here.
I miss you every day.
The nurses at Mt Olivet think you sent me a beautiful daughter.
One day I will finish this PhD. It will be dedicated to you - the strongest role model a girl could ever have.
Libby and I are once again as thick as thieves. We talk of you often. The physical distance between us does nothing to dampen our support of each other (though we could handle being able to have a wine together a little more often :)
Christmas has never been the same since you went away. I hope as Charlotte gets older I can re-capture some of that Christmas spirit.
I haven't spoken to Desley since you died - I hope you can understand why.
My friends are my family - I have some amazing friends. You would love them. They look out for me.
I hope that Scamp found you wherever you are. We miss him every day too. When Charlotte is being 'naughty' we think of Scamp. We're pretty sure she is Scamp re-incarnated ;)
I could write a book on things I would say to you this Christmas if you were here.
I love you.
Monday, December 12, 2005
The sands of time.....
Well it's been brought to my attention - yet again - that i've failed to post recently. I can't even claim to have been working on any of the multitude of projects that I have on at the moment - life has just been on top of me lately and haven't felt witty enough to post. So I'm going to post - but don't expect too much :)
Okay, so yesterday, due to life's weight on my shoulders, I decided it was time to buck up, get out of the house and do something carefree. So I bundled Charlotte up - she only slept for 40 minutes yesterday after being awake for 5 hours before lunch so she was ALIVE and kicking (aka overtired)... we jumped in the car and headed for the coast - my hopes being that she would drift off to sleep and I'd just take a leisurely drive through the sunshine coast hinterland. However, I made it as far as Mango Hill and she showed no signs of tiredness so I decided to drop in on my best friend's mum. She was most surprised to see us - having not seen us in about oh....7 months. She decided to join me on my trip to the coast but then we decided the coast was a big endeavour as it was already 1.30 in the afternoon. So we headed down the road to redcliffe instead and went to the lagoon - like a mini-southbank with sand and pools and shade sails - and the breeze coming off the bay was DIVINE!!! Here's a photo of my little one being amazed my a small frond of some sort from a pine tree. She studied this plant form for a good hour while Joy and i sat and chatted.... note to self - I should enjoy outings like this with a good book while she is still too young to run all over the place with me chasing her!!
And check out these colours - looks like we're holidaying in Hawaii....
not that anyone who has been to Redcliffe would ever mistake it for Hawaii - but it was lovely nonetheless....
Okay, so yesterday, due to life's weight on my shoulders, I decided it was time to buck up, get out of the house and do something carefree. So I bundled Charlotte up - she only slept for 40 minutes yesterday after being awake for 5 hours before lunch so she was ALIVE and kicking (aka overtired)... we jumped in the car and headed for the coast - my hopes being that she would drift off to sleep and I'd just take a leisurely drive through the sunshine coast hinterland. However, I made it as far as Mango Hill and she showed no signs of tiredness so I decided to drop in on my best friend's mum. She was most surprised to see us - having not seen us in about oh....7 months. She decided to join me on my trip to the coast but then we decided the coast was a big endeavour as it was already 1.30 in the afternoon. So we headed down the road to redcliffe instead and went to the lagoon - like a mini-southbank with sand and pools and shade sails - and the breeze coming off the bay was DIVINE!!! Here's a photo of my little one being amazed my a small frond of some sort from a pine tree. She studied this plant form for a good hour while Joy and i sat and chatted.... note to self - I should enjoy outings like this with a good book while she is still too young to run all over the place with me chasing her!!
And check out these colours - looks like we're holidaying in Hawaii....
not that anyone who has been to Redcliffe would ever mistake it for Hawaii - but it was lovely nonetheless....
Saturday, November 26, 2005
My greatest fear is that there is No PMS, and this is just my personality.
it's been one of those days dear reader. i want another baby. i can't cope with the one I've got. dave isn't putting the cranberry sauce on his turkey sandwich right. he looks at me with what I'm sure is meant to convey love and I screech "why are you looking at me that way". I whine because there's nothing on TV tonight, go down and painstakingly select two DVDs from the video store (notice I still call it a video store despite the fact that I haven't borrowed a video in god knows how long)... only to get home and declare that I don't want to watch either of them and flounce off to the bedroom to read a book. It's days like this I wonder how it is that Dave hasn't cleared out our savings account and run off with some blonde bimbo who would never dare to question why it is that his clothes are still on the freakin' floor when I've asked him to pick them up 64 times..... then again, I've seen the balance of our savings account and I suspect that he hasn't eloped with the floozy because he knows they wouldn't make it as far as Ipswich before the money ran out - and let's face it, no-one wants to get stuck in Ipswich........
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
an 'alarming' exercise routine!!
a post ago I referred to one of my current mini-projects being a physical activity research project in which I'm a guinea pig... allow me to explain.
as a researcher myself, I'm quite sympathetic to the need to recruit participants to help collect data, so when i was approached to help out with a physical activity project I didn't hesitate. the object being to record your physical activity (or any activities, physical or otherwise) every hour of your waking day. Let me re-iterate that: EVERY FLIPPING HOUR OF EVERY WAKING MOMENT OF EVERY DAY FOR ONE WEEK.....Now, one might think that this sounds onerous - and one would be right. However, clearly my altruism clouded my ability to comprehend that when i signed up for the cause.
So last Friday, Saturday and Sunday, this alarm went off once during the day - to let us practice entering what physical activity (or otherwise) we'd been doing during the previous hour. There's a menu and in the first one you choose a broad category such as transport or the one that I most use house duties and/or childcare.... then it prompts you to get more specific (childcare or house duties or lawn/gardening duties)... and so on until you've got a nice specific task. Most of mine have been "sitting on my arse playing with a small child while singing nursery rhymes" - well not quite but you get my drift. I especially like the fact that you can enter in 'sexual activity' at which point it prompts you to report on whether it was 'passive, light' 'moderate, average' or 'heavy, vigorous, active'... now if one reports 'average' are you then commenting on the quality of said activity or merely the fact that you weren't putting a whole lot of effort in at the time. Who knows. Of course, if I do happen to have sex during the next seven days - which is the lifespan of this project - I'll either be a) lying and not recording it or b) making sure I have sex OUTSIDE of the allotted hours.... the alternative was actually to just record that I had 'vigorous sex' every hour - that'd give 'em something to think about now wouldn't it??
Anyway, so after completing 3 days of practice, things were going well. I was even 'informed' by the PDA on Sunday night that 'tomorrow is your first day' - it sounded quite excited.... so I was too. At 6am the following morning the alarm beeped and I inputed that I had been playing with a baby and eating during the last hour. 7am came and I inputted again... and so on and so forth. By 2pm, I was changing poo-ey nappy, the phone was ringing, charlotte was squirming and crying, the dog was whining for her dinner and .... you guessed it .... the bloody PDA alarm went off!!! I nearly flushed the bloody thing down the toilet.... and it's just gone downhill from there. How does one report on activity when within one hour I may (SIMULTANEOUSLY I might add), fold laundry while playing with charlotte, eati a snack, dress charlotte, put on my make-up and pack the nappy bag so we can get out of the house.....
I am now up to day three of the project and have another four days to go. there will be no sex - I'm too exhausted from reporting my physical activity to actually DO any....aaaaaaaaaaaaargh, there it goes again.....and here I am, sitting on my arse again being sedentary.... all this project has done for me is to point out what a lazy sod I am!! :) oh well, at least charlotte likes my singing...
as a researcher myself, I'm quite sympathetic to the need to recruit participants to help collect data, so when i was approached to help out with a physical activity project I didn't hesitate. the object being to record your physical activity (or any activities, physical or otherwise) every hour of your waking day. Let me re-iterate that: EVERY FLIPPING HOUR OF EVERY WAKING MOMENT OF EVERY DAY FOR ONE WEEK.....Now, one might think that this sounds onerous - and one would be right. However, clearly my altruism clouded my ability to comprehend that when i signed up for the cause.
So last Friday, Saturday and Sunday, this alarm went off once during the day - to let us practice entering what physical activity (or otherwise) we'd been doing during the previous hour. There's a menu and in the first one you choose a broad category such as transport or the one that I most use house duties and/or childcare.... then it prompts you to get more specific (childcare or house duties or lawn/gardening duties)... and so on until you've got a nice specific task. Most of mine have been "sitting on my arse playing with a small child while singing nursery rhymes" - well not quite but you get my drift. I especially like the fact that you can enter in 'sexual activity' at which point it prompts you to report on whether it was 'passive, light' 'moderate, average' or 'heavy, vigorous, active'... now if one reports 'average' are you then commenting on the quality of said activity or merely the fact that you weren't putting a whole lot of effort in at the time. Who knows. Of course, if I do happen to have sex during the next seven days - which is the lifespan of this project - I'll either be a) lying and not recording it or b) making sure I have sex OUTSIDE of the allotted hours.... the alternative was actually to just record that I had 'vigorous sex' every hour - that'd give 'em something to think about now wouldn't it??
Anyway, so after completing 3 days of practice, things were going well. I was even 'informed' by the PDA on Sunday night that 'tomorrow is your first day' - it sounded quite excited.... so I was too. At 6am the following morning the alarm beeped and I inputed that I had been playing with a baby and eating during the last hour. 7am came and I inputted again... and so on and so forth. By 2pm, I was changing poo-ey nappy, the phone was ringing, charlotte was squirming and crying, the dog was whining for her dinner and .... you guessed it .... the bloody PDA alarm went off!!! I nearly flushed the bloody thing down the toilet.... and it's just gone downhill from there. How does one report on activity when within one hour I may (SIMULTANEOUSLY I might add), fold laundry while playing with charlotte, eati a snack, dress charlotte, put on my make-up and pack the nappy bag so we can get out of the house.....
I am now up to day three of the project and have another four days to go. there will be no sex - I'm too exhausted from reporting my physical activity to actually DO any....aaaaaaaaaaaaargh, there it goes again.....and here I am, sitting on my arse again being sedentary.... all this project has done for me is to point out what a lazy sod I am!! :) oh well, at least charlotte likes my singing...
Monday, November 21, 2005
Projects update...
Well I'm sure you're all just DYING to know how all of my projects are going? No.... well i'm going to tell you anyway dear readers.... because that's just the kind of self-centred gal I am.... :)
1. Being a stay-at-home mum....this is going pretty well actually. Though I am a little bemused by the fact that my MIL tells me every time she looks after charlotte, that charli girl has 2 great long sleeps a day and she just {quote} lays down and goes to sleep {unquote}.... which is a far cry from the 1/2 hour sobbing I have to listen to before she goes to sleep.... so I ask you... just what drugs are they giving her ??? (and where do i get them..)
2. Working part-time (and hence my hubby's mum and dad looking after charli girl 2 days a week).... this too is going okay. I have returned from 6 months maternity leave to a completely different workplace to the one i left... oh sure, the building is still there... but the people have changed. some have started and left again and I've never even met them...there are new faces everywhere and there is a part of me that just cannot be bothered learning any more new names. seriously, my mind can take no more information in and therefore i regret to inform you that if i haven't met you by now, if i do meet you i will be unable to retain any information about you - and hence a friendship seems out of the question. But so as not to end up like a lovely lady in the US who was sacked for discussing her workplace on her blog I will refrain from discussing these matters any further.... those of you closest to me will know of the shenanigans that have preceded my return to the workplace...
3. The backyard.... i would post more photos but i'm embarrassed about the complete lack of progress since last time..... i'll get back to you on this one...
4. hmmm, what other projects... oh yes, the house renovations. we'll i'm just about to commit to a structural engineer to make up the plans for our building application process blah blah blah.... who knows - i just sign the things our architect sends us..... but that will have to wait until I have another $1500 to spend... sorry charlotte, no xmas presents for you this year..... maybe santa has a bigger budget than mummy
5. and finally, the phd. i know you think i left this until last because i haven't done anything but back up dear readers....i've got 8 pages of chapter 5 to 'clean up' and then there's another chapter ready for my supervisor...seriously, who would have thought that i'd be MORE productive when i had a child... hey maybe if i get pregnant and have another one i might actually finish this phd before my supervisor retires (i've been given a 2 year deadline and then finished or not she's dumping me!!)
So there you have it - an update on my 5 projects. Of course in amongst these are little extra projects (read: procrastination tools) such as cooking dinner next monday for a single mum with 5 foster kids to help ease her load, or offering to participate in a physical activity research experiment in which i get to be harassed by an alarm every hour of my waking day and prompted to report on my physical activity for the previous hour (more on that in the next post) or my favourite project of all... sitting at the computer while i'm meant to be thesis-writing googling holiday destinations and dreaming of one day being able to sit on a beach with a daquiri in one hand and a margherita in the other drinking myself into a stupor for seven child-free days................................
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sorry...where was I? oh yes, back in reality and about to go and change a dirty nappy. 'til next time.
1. Being a stay-at-home mum....this is going pretty well actually. Though I am a little bemused by the fact that my MIL tells me every time she looks after charlotte, that charli girl has 2 great long sleeps a day and she just {quote} lays down and goes to sleep {unquote}.... which is a far cry from the 1/2 hour sobbing I have to listen to before she goes to sleep.... so I ask you... just what drugs are they giving her ??? (and where do i get them..)
2. Working part-time (and hence my hubby's mum and dad looking after charli girl 2 days a week).... this too is going okay. I have returned from 6 months maternity leave to a completely different workplace to the one i left... oh sure, the building is still there... but the people have changed. some have started and left again and I've never even met them...there are new faces everywhere and there is a part of me that just cannot be bothered learning any more new names. seriously, my mind can take no more information in and therefore i regret to inform you that if i haven't met you by now, if i do meet you i will be unable to retain any information about you - and hence a friendship seems out of the question. But so as not to end up like a lovely lady in the US who was sacked for discussing her workplace on her blog I will refrain from discussing these matters any further.... those of you closest to me will know of the shenanigans that have preceded my return to the workplace...
3. The backyard.... i would post more photos but i'm embarrassed about the complete lack of progress since last time..... i'll get back to you on this one...
4. hmmm, what other projects... oh yes, the house renovations. we'll i'm just about to commit to a structural engineer to make up the plans for our building application process blah blah blah.... who knows - i just sign the things our architect sends us..... but that will have to wait until I have another $1500 to spend... sorry charlotte, no xmas presents for you this year..... maybe santa has a bigger budget than mummy
5. and finally, the phd. i know you think i left this until last because i haven't done anything but back up dear readers....i've got 8 pages of chapter 5 to 'clean up' and then there's another chapter ready for my supervisor...seriously, who would have thought that i'd be MORE productive when i had a child... hey maybe if i get pregnant and have another one i might actually finish this phd before my supervisor retires (i've been given a 2 year deadline and then finished or not she's dumping me!!)
So there you have it - an update on my 5 projects. Of course in amongst these are little extra projects (read: procrastination tools) such as cooking dinner next monday for a single mum with 5 foster kids to help ease her load, or offering to participate in a physical activity research experiment in which i get to be harassed by an alarm every hour of my waking day and prompted to report on my physical activity for the previous hour (more on that in the next post) or my favourite project of all... sitting at the computer while i'm meant to be thesis-writing googling holiday destinations and dreaming of one day being able to sit on a beach with a daquiri in one hand and a margherita in the other drinking myself into a stupor for seven child-free days................................
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sorry...where was I? oh yes, back in reality and about to go and change a dirty nappy. 'til next time.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
It started with a kiss.....
Well it was inevitable really wasn't it that at some point I was going to bore you all with my birth story. There'll even be photos, but don't worry, they're the G-rated ones!!
Well it was Tuesday the 19th of April at 3.30pm and we had our 41 week appointment with Karen, our midwife. Dave and I were both to the point of waking up each morning and looking at each other with disappointment – another night had come and gone and still no sign of any baby arriving. We were excited, eager…….and anxious. And I was beginning to suspect that my anxiety levels were not going to help with starting the process of labour. I had told myself (and Dave) that we weren’t going to focus on the expected due date too much – but that’s easier said than done. By 39 weeks I’d had enough of being pregnant so when that 40 week mark came and went I was disappointed to say the least. By 41 weeks I was beside myself.
We met with Karen to discuss being induced the following week if I still hadn’t gone into labour. We set Anzac Day as the day I would arrive to be induced – and I hoped with all my heart that it wouldn’t come to that – more than anything I was scared of being induced, as I didn’t have faith that I could cope with the pain if it started too suddenly. I raised the possibility of having a ‘stretch and strip’ – that charming term coined to describe having the cervical membranes swept. Karen said she’d do an internal and see how things were progressing. I can’t think of a time usually when one would look forward to an internal – but in this case I did!!
During the internal, Karen informed Dave and I that I was already 3cms dilated (woohoo) and my cervix was long and thin (hmmmm) – I figured this was good news – and she helped things along by sweeping the membranes (do you have a visual here of my midwife and a broom..... it wasn't like that honestly though it felt like it!!). Not the most comfortable feeling in the world, but at least I felt like something was happening. Karen predicted that we would not see the rest of the week out before I went into labour – what a wonderful prediction to our ears!!
So we headed home, grabbed takeout for dinner (fish and chips even though it wasn't Friday, but we're allowed to do that as we're not catholic. i guess in theory the catholics can have fish and chips any day they want too.... hmmmmm). Anyway, I digress - we grabbed takeout and settled in for a night in front of the television. I was feeling quite ‘crampy’ but put it down to the fact that I’d had an internal and didn’t think much of it (but was also secretly wondering whether this could be the start of it!!).
I headed for bed at a reasonable hour – exhausted as usual. I mean I was after all the size of a flipping elephant by this stage. At 2.30am I awoke to the shocking thought that I had just wet the bed!!! I clenched my pelvic floor – to no avail – and then quickly realisation dawned that this must be waters breaking. How exciting (an yet kind of icky too - Dave was pleased he'd put towels under our sheet!!!!) I went to check things out in the bathroom, discovered no signs that anything was wrong and stood there debating whether or not to call Karen. Now I had been told numerous times that I was to call when my waters broke BUT it was 2.30am – and the waters were clear – surely I didn’t have to wake Karen….. did I? But commonsense prevailed and I called the hospital to get Karen paged (actually, it was less 'common sense' and more being worried about getting into trouble for not calling - one would think at the age of 31 I would be over being worried about being scolded but hey). Ten minutes later she returned my call and I briefed her on the situation. She asked if any contractions had started and I realised they hadn’t and told her so. She said that was fine, to try and catch some sleep and we’d touch base in the morning – she’d be at the Birth Centre for her shift at 7am. Trying to curb my excitement I went back to bed – determined to stay calm, get some sleep – and most of all, not wake Dave until absolutely necessary as I knew he’d be so excited (read: anxious) NO-ONE would get any rest!! :o)
However, 15 minutes after getting into bed and getting comfortable, contractions began. Nothing more than a dull period-like pain (sorry for all the men reading this who can't relate to that but whatever) but I knew that this was the beginning. At 3am after a couple of contractions, I realised that I should probably let Dave know as despite days of suggesting he pack for the hospital, I knew he hadn’t so thought I should give him some warning!! Now, Dave is a rather heavy sleeper but nothing will wake a father-to-be faster than his 41-week pregnant wife leaning over and whispering “are you ready to meet your daughter today?” mwa ha ha (evil laugh) He came awake so suddenly it made me laugh – and was he excited!! The light was on and he was packing to go!!! Meanwhile I decide to eat some cereal in case I was in too much pain by breakfast – plus a 3am snack was usual for me as I’d been so hungry during the last few weeks of pregnancy!! I finished my weet-bix to find Dave hauling on his shorts and a t-shirt. I asked him what he was doing and that it was better if we both just went back to bed now we were all organised – that the contractions were still just niggly pains and it could be hours yet. So he got undressed again and lay back down and we turned off the light and tried to get some sleep. Again it was just as I was starting to calm down that I became a little uncomfortable and decide to get up and jump in shower. I didn’t have a watch or a clock with me, but the back pains seemed to be coming quite regularly, about 4-5 minutes apart – but they were still incredibly manageable so I was not sure of what was going on. I had it in my head that once contractions were this regular that I would be in excruciating pain.
I was very aware at this point that my other support person, Sharon, a very close girlfriend probably needed some warning as she had 2 children of her own to get organised if she had to meet me at the hospital. So at 4am, feeling awful for waking another person in the middle of the night, I called her. After telling her that contractions were really regular and close together but really manageable, – she said it could be hours yet but call Karen if I was concerned. I told her I wasn’t concerned I just wanted to let her know that she should probably get the kids to her mother-in-laws in the morning and be prepared to come to the hospital instead of going to work. I hung up and jumped straight back in the shower.
All thoughts of listening to music while leaning over my Swiss Ball went out the window – all I could think about was being under the hot jet of the shower. By this stage, the pain was becoming a little more intense and I found myself moaning through each wave of pain and focussing on my voice instead of the pain. I had the water jet so hot my skin was bright red but I didn’t care – it relieved the pain and the thought of getting out of the shower was unbearable. But I realised that I needed to know just how fast these contractions were coming so after one I quickly jumped out of the shower, ran dripping wet to the bedroom, poked Dave while suggesting (quite forcibly I might add!) that he ‘get up and time these bloody contractions!!’ Poor thing…
I made it back to the shower in time for the next contraction. I yelled out to Dave as each contraction started and stopped so that he could work out how long they were, and how regularly they were coming. The pain was still very bearable but I definitely needed to focus on each contraction. I have only vague recollections of Dave suggesting the water was too hot (I am NOT turning the heat down) and asking how close the contractions were before he was meant to call Karen (I think in all the excitement he just totally forgot!!). Dave said to me that the contractions have been regular (3min) for the last 20 minutes or so (no idea where the time went)…. I tell him to page Karen. After checking I’d be okay, Dave goes to throw all of our things in the car. After not hearing from Karen we suspect the switch never paged her so Dave tries again….
At 5.20am Karen gets back to us, hears my response to a contraction (think panting, moaning and yelling all at once) and says she’ll meet us at the hospital at 6am (in hindsight I can only thank god that it was not peak hour traffic time!!!). At 5.45am Dave comes in mid-contraction and tells me it’s time to go. I suggest through gritted teeth that there is no way I'm getting out of the shower. Not sure Dave knew what to do at that point - he gently suggested that I had to get out (there was a pleading in his voice at this stage). I wait for another lull in the contractions and step out of the shower while Dave starts drying me off - I had no concept of being able to do anything at this stage except focus on my breathing so there I stood like a 5 year old being dressed by someone else....shorts on... contraction...shirt on...contraction ... make it to the lounge... contraction...hop in the back seat of the car so I can lean over the back seat and Dave takes off... For the most part I can't remember the trip to the hospital - I didn't know spatially where we were at any point during the ride - but I distinctly remember a 4-wheel drive following us for a large portion of the trip with his bloody headlights shining through the back window of our wagon. I can only imagine what they thought when they saw this woman hanging over the back seat, dry reaching into a bucket, gritting her teeth and yelling every 3 minutes or so.....(have you got the visual??)
We make it to the hospital about 6am. There were multiple stops between the car and the birth centre - there was NO way I could move during a contraction. One knows however that one is not in enough pain if you can still be embarrassed about having a contraction in front of all the smokers sitting outside the public hospital!! I made Dave stand in front of me and hug me so it wasn't so obvious - though I'm sure I fooled no-one....
We met Sharon (my other support partner) and Karen the midwife outside the birth centre and once there I strip off and head straight for the shower. I've never been overly conservative when it comes to nudity but let me tell you - any semblance of modesty goes out the door when you're in labour. I'm not even sure I actually made it IN to my birth suite - it's quite possible that the cleaner who was mopping the floors outside the birthing rooms got quite an eyeful that morning - I really didn't care.
I won't bore you all with the details of the next hour. There was showering. Dave and Sharon discussed that morning's events (Pope Benedictine XVI had just been elected to the Vatican) and I believe at some point they discussed the fact that it was Hitler's birthday. The fact that our daughter was about to be born on that dictator's birthday is a fact that I could have done without ..... but nevertheless.
Finally I get to start pushing. Amazing. Wonderful. Exhilirating. I reach down and feel my daughter's head emerging... and before you know it (only a mere hour after arriving at the hospital) Charlotte Rose was born. 3.86kgs (or 8lb 8oz for you old schoolers) and 55cms long - she's going to be tall like her daddy. Here she is in all her goopy glory. We call her Monkey....
Anyway, that's the story of Charli Rose's birth. It's hard to sum it all up in such a short time (yes, that was a shortened version)... and nothing really will ever capture the wonder that was that morning.... 7.17am on the 20th April 2005 will always hold a special place in our hearts. Monkey, we love you.
Well it was Tuesday the 19th of April at 3.30pm and we had our 41 week appointment with Karen, our midwife. Dave and I were both to the point of waking up each morning and looking at each other with disappointment – another night had come and gone and still no sign of any baby arriving. We were excited, eager…….and anxious. And I was beginning to suspect that my anxiety levels were not going to help with starting the process of labour. I had told myself (and Dave) that we weren’t going to focus on the expected due date too much – but that’s easier said than done. By 39 weeks I’d had enough of being pregnant so when that 40 week mark came and went I was disappointed to say the least. By 41 weeks I was beside myself.
We met with Karen to discuss being induced the following week if I still hadn’t gone into labour. We set Anzac Day as the day I would arrive to be induced – and I hoped with all my heart that it wouldn’t come to that – more than anything I was scared of being induced, as I didn’t have faith that I could cope with the pain if it started too suddenly. I raised the possibility of having a ‘stretch and strip’ – that charming term coined to describe having the cervical membranes swept. Karen said she’d do an internal and see how things were progressing. I can’t think of a time usually when one would look forward to an internal – but in this case I did!!
During the internal, Karen informed Dave and I that I was already 3cms dilated (woohoo) and my cervix was long and thin (hmmmm) – I figured this was good news – and she helped things along by sweeping the membranes (do you have a visual here of my midwife and a broom..... it wasn't like that honestly though it felt like it!!). Not the most comfortable feeling in the world, but at least I felt like something was happening. Karen predicted that we would not see the rest of the week out before I went into labour – what a wonderful prediction to our ears!!
So we headed home, grabbed takeout for dinner (fish and chips even though it wasn't Friday, but we're allowed to do that as we're not catholic. i guess in theory the catholics can have fish and chips any day they want too.... hmmmmm). Anyway, I digress - we grabbed takeout and settled in for a night in front of the television. I was feeling quite ‘crampy’ but put it down to the fact that I’d had an internal and didn’t think much of it (but was also secretly wondering whether this could be the start of it!!).
I headed for bed at a reasonable hour – exhausted as usual. I mean I was after all the size of a flipping elephant by this stage. At 2.30am I awoke to the shocking thought that I had just wet the bed!!! I clenched my pelvic floor – to no avail – and then quickly realisation dawned that this must be waters breaking. How exciting (an yet kind of icky too - Dave was pleased he'd put towels under our sheet!!!!) I went to check things out in the bathroom, discovered no signs that anything was wrong and stood there debating whether or not to call Karen. Now I had been told numerous times that I was to call when my waters broke BUT it was 2.30am – and the waters were clear – surely I didn’t have to wake Karen….. did I? But commonsense prevailed and I called the hospital to get Karen paged (actually, it was less 'common sense' and more being worried about getting into trouble for not calling - one would think at the age of 31 I would be over being worried about being scolded but hey). Ten minutes later she returned my call and I briefed her on the situation. She asked if any contractions had started and I realised they hadn’t and told her so. She said that was fine, to try and catch some sleep and we’d touch base in the morning – she’d be at the Birth Centre for her shift at 7am. Trying to curb my excitement I went back to bed – determined to stay calm, get some sleep – and most of all, not wake Dave until absolutely necessary as I knew he’d be so excited (read: anxious) NO-ONE would get any rest!! :o)
However, 15 minutes after getting into bed and getting comfortable, contractions began. Nothing more than a dull period-like pain (sorry for all the men reading this who can't relate to that but whatever) but I knew that this was the beginning. At 3am after a couple of contractions, I realised that I should probably let Dave know as despite days of suggesting he pack for the hospital, I knew he hadn’t so thought I should give him some warning!! Now, Dave is a rather heavy sleeper but nothing will wake a father-to-be faster than his 41-week pregnant wife leaning over and whispering “are you ready to meet your daughter today?” mwa ha ha (evil laugh) He came awake so suddenly it made me laugh – and was he excited!! The light was on and he was packing to go!!! Meanwhile I decide to eat some cereal in case I was in too much pain by breakfast – plus a 3am snack was usual for me as I’d been so hungry during the last few weeks of pregnancy!! I finished my weet-bix to find Dave hauling on his shorts and a t-shirt. I asked him what he was doing and that it was better if we both just went back to bed now we were all organised – that the contractions were still just niggly pains and it could be hours yet. So he got undressed again and lay back down and we turned off the light and tried to get some sleep. Again it was just as I was starting to calm down that I became a little uncomfortable and decide to get up and jump in shower. I didn’t have a watch or a clock with me, but the back pains seemed to be coming quite regularly, about 4-5 minutes apart – but they were still incredibly manageable so I was not sure of what was going on. I had it in my head that once contractions were this regular that I would be in excruciating pain.
I was very aware at this point that my other support person, Sharon, a very close girlfriend probably needed some warning as she had 2 children of her own to get organised if she had to meet me at the hospital. So at 4am, feeling awful for waking another person in the middle of the night, I called her. After telling her that contractions were really regular and close together but really manageable, – she said it could be hours yet but call Karen if I was concerned. I told her I wasn’t concerned I just wanted to let her know that she should probably get the kids to her mother-in-laws in the morning and be prepared to come to the hospital instead of going to work. I hung up and jumped straight back in the shower.
All thoughts of listening to music while leaning over my Swiss Ball went out the window – all I could think about was being under the hot jet of the shower. By this stage, the pain was becoming a little more intense and I found myself moaning through each wave of pain and focussing on my voice instead of the pain. I had the water jet so hot my skin was bright red but I didn’t care – it relieved the pain and the thought of getting out of the shower was unbearable. But I realised that I needed to know just how fast these contractions were coming so after one I quickly jumped out of the shower, ran dripping wet to the bedroom, poked Dave while suggesting (quite forcibly I might add!) that he ‘get up and time these bloody contractions!!’ Poor thing…
I made it back to the shower in time for the next contraction. I yelled out to Dave as each contraction started and stopped so that he could work out how long they were, and how regularly they were coming. The pain was still very bearable but I definitely needed to focus on each contraction. I have only vague recollections of Dave suggesting the water was too hot (I am NOT turning the heat down) and asking how close the contractions were before he was meant to call Karen (I think in all the excitement he just totally forgot!!). Dave said to me that the contractions have been regular (3min) for the last 20 minutes or so (no idea where the time went)…. I tell him to page Karen. After checking I’d be okay, Dave goes to throw all of our things in the car. After not hearing from Karen we suspect the switch never paged her so Dave tries again….
At 5.20am Karen gets back to us, hears my response to a contraction (think panting, moaning and yelling all at once) and says she’ll meet us at the hospital at 6am (in hindsight I can only thank god that it was not peak hour traffic time!!!). At 5.45am Dave comes in mid-contraction and tells me it’s time to go. I suggest through gritted teeth that there is no way I'm getting out of the shower. Not sure Dave knew what to do at that point - he gently suggested that I had to get out (there was a pleading in his voice at this stage). I wait for another lull in the contractions and step out of the shower while Dave starts drying me off - I had no concept of being able to do anything at this stage except focus on my breathing so there I stood like a 5 year old being dressed by someone else....shorts on... contraction...shirt on...contraction ... make it to the lounge... contraction...hop in the back seat of the car so I can lean over the back seat and Dave takes off... For the most part I can't remember the trip to the hospital - I didn't know spatially where we were at any point during the ride - but I distinctly remember a 4-wheel drive following us for a large portion of the trip with his bloody headlights shining through the back window of our wagon. I can only imagine what they thought when they saw this woman hanging over the back seat, dry reaching into a bucket, gritting her teeth and yelling every 3 minutes or so.....(have you got the visual??)
We make it to the hospital about 6am. There were multiple stops between the car and the birth centre - there was NO way I could move during a contraction. One knows however that one is not in enough pain if you can still be embarrassed about having a contraction in front of all the smokers sitting outside the public hospital!! I made Dave stand in front of me and hug me so it wasn't so obvious - though I'm sure I fooled no-one....
We met Sharon (my other support partner) and Karen the midwife outside the birth centre and once there I strip off and head straight for the shower. I've never been overly conservative when it comes to nudity but let me tell you - any semblance of modesty goes out the door when you're in labour. I'm not even sure I actually made it IN to my birth suite - it's quite possible that the cleaner who was mopping the floors outside the birthing rooms got quite an eyeful that morning - I really didn't care.
I won't bore you all with the details of the next hour. There was showering. Dave and Sharon discussed that morning's events (Pope Benedictine XVI had just been elected to the Vatican) and I believe at some point they discussed the fact that it was Hitler's birthday. The fact that our daughter was about to be born on that dictator's birthday is a fact that I could have done without ..... but nevertheless.
Finally I get to start pushing. Amazing. Wonderful. Exhilirating. I reach down and feel my daughter's head emerging... and before you know it (only a mere hour after arriving at the hospital) Charlotte Rose was born. 3.86kgs (or 8lb 8oz for you old schoolers) and 55cms long - she's going to be tall like her daddy. Here she is in all her goopy glory. We call her Monkey....
Anyway, that's the story of Charli Rose's birth. It's hard to sum it all up in such a short time (yes, that was a shortened version)... and nothing really will ever capture the wonder that was that morning.... 7.17am on the 20th April 2005 will always hold a special place in our hearts. Monkey, we love you.
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