It's over

It's over, it's done. I wanted to write a really inspiring post about finishing my PhD thesis, but it will have to wait. The pure exhaustion that has hit me, coupled with re-acquainting myself with have Charli all day, every day..... well needless to say that bed is summoning at 7.30pm. Add to that the fact that - despite all logic - I did not sleep well last night after submitting. I spent the night dreaming of alternate titles, and re-arranging paragraphs. Ridiculous really. Still, the unconcious is not always a logical creature. If only I weren't pregnant a sleeping tablet would be downed tonight in the hopes of a dream-free sleep. But 'tis not to be. And speaking of baby - COME OUT NOW!! You have permission and I've had enough ....

Final days of writing causes stroke in young female...

Seriously, if I had to continue on functioning at this level of stress for much longer than the 3 days that I have left until I submit, I think I would give myself a coronary. At my last ante-natal appointment, my blood pressure was normal - which means high for me because during pregnancy my BP is usually low (well when I say usually of course I am basing this on the ONE previous pregnancy that I have had LOL). So with any luck by next Wednesday, when I have my 37 week preggo check-up, I will back to my usual fainting-episode level of blood pressure. :)

Thanks everyone for your support in these final days.... it is very much appreciated. Don't think there won't be the bash of the year when this thesis is finally confered.... I'm not even waiting until graduation, the party will probably be about one week after I get the Dean's letter.....

The Homeward Stretch

Well dear readers, while there are still six sleeps to go until I go to the printers with my thesis in my hot little hands, finally there is a light at the end of the tunnel. My supervisor has now seen my final chapter and actually uttered the words "well done" and only made the most minor of changes - most of them grammatical. I truly can't believe it. Of course Chapter Three is still dogging me (I keep having to stop myself from doing a complete re-write), and there are a gazillion formatting changes to be made..... but hey, I've still got six sleeps to go right?

Best go. Who knows, I could get most of it done by the weekend and actually give my darling hubby some time off...... but I can't promise anything, sorry hon :)

7 more sleeps.... should I be this calm?

I've discovered my Zen side. I got bugger all done on the weekend. Some of it due to fatigue and writer's block. Some of it to do with Charli disobeying me and cutting three teeth inside 48 hours one week before my PhD is due. So she was a little wretched on the weekend to say the least. And while poor Dave tried his best, she's a bit of a mummy's girl when she's grumpy. Aren't we all?

So I tried to just 'go with it'. Spent some time in the spa with her - which sounds like it should be relaxing but if you've ever seen a toddler in the water when they're having a good time, you'll know what I mean when I say 'not so much...'. Dave's rum and coke inevitably ends up as half rum and coke, half bromide and chlorinated water!! My glasses become so that I need little windscreen wipers on them. Still, it stops her screaming for a short time so that is always nice.

And as for the other little bump inside me.... well she has 'dropped' which means no more reflux and heartburn which is nice...... BUT that little bit of fun has been replaced by what I can only describe as trampolining on a floor of nerves. She's found this one nerve that when she touches it, well sorry to be so graphic but it feels like one foot is already out - you know, just testing the air temperature. So while Charli woke twice last night, it really didn't even bother me - I was up every 1.5 hours anyway, so uncomfortable that lying still for any longer than that would require me to have been given some form of narcotic.

So there you go. One can't imagine why I feel so calm right now but I do. Anyway, this was just a short break - back to finish the last 2 or so pages of my FINAL CHAPTER. Then begins a week of revisions, proof-reading, making up (I mean finding) references, and generally ensuring that this thesis doesn't look like something the cat dragged in.

See you all soon

9 ....

Nine days and counting people..... it's being submitted to the printers on Monday 4th December. there is no question of 'will it be done?'.... whatever is done by the 4th is being submitted.

My midwife informs me that although my belly has dropped and baby is head down, it is not yet engaged.... so I still have time up my sleeve. Cross fingers and toes.

14 .....

Aargh!!

17 sleeps until submission!

Geek in the making

Pick the daughter of the IT geek

68, 130 words ..... and a bucket load of tears later...

Well it's been an interesting couple of days. Because the best combination in the world is a heavily pregnant lady, a thesis-submission date looming a mere 8 weeks away, and a toddler who has learnt to throw herself on the floor and scream at the mere mention of the word 'no' from her parents. It's a wonder Dave bothers to come home from work at all anymore. I suspect that no amount of server problems or email crashing or IT-user complaints could anywhere near rival the state of utter chaos that has become our lives. Or maybe I'm exaggerating a little - those pregnancy hormones are likely to do that to you.

but anyway, having said all that, note the word count..... not that that is any indication of how near to completion I am... I still don't know the answer to that one. I do know that I'm still running analyses (something I did not expect to still be doing at this stage), I still have a host of formatting problems to fix, and I suspect that there is still a mountain of interpretation of results I have yet to do... and the best time to try and make insightful, brilliant conclusions - why when you are 36 weeks pregnant of course!! *sigh*

Wa paise

..... or water please if you're speaking charli-speak. After reading my online parent group discussions about what other bubs Charlotte's age are saying, I thought it high time that I jot down all the words she's saying - not because I think anyone but Dave and I are interested, but because this has become the place that I jot down these things so that years from now, I have some recollection of how my kids developed... that and I can't look at my thesis tonight so this seemed like a good alternative.

(in no particular order)

Dad-da, daddy, dad

Mummy, mum
(but only if asked to say it or when cranky and/or upset)... unlike the word 'Daddy'
that gets squealed with pleasure as the car pulls into the driveway *sigh*

Wa - Water

Du(ck) - she has a tendency to drop the ends of her words so context is everything

Do(g)

Boat

I love you
(however, only the 'I' is verbalised, then she signs Love by crossing her arms over her chest and then pointing to one of us while saying "do" (you) This sound actually means you in German so I brag that she's already bi-lingual!!). I would also add that I'm not sure she understands the meaning of this yet, she performs it more for our amusement... as she does for most things I think... :)

Sheese (cheese)

Ba/Bar (Bath)

Paise (as mentioned this is please)

Ta
(as in Thank You - said incredibly exaggeratedly and while tipping her head cutely to the side so that we cannot deny her whatever it is she's begging for at the time!!)

Ta-ta or Bye-bye
(this is usually after running to me while I'm in bed, kissing me perfunctorily and then heading for the door at a run when her Nan turns up to pick her up in the morning... glad to see I'm missed!!)

Mwa
(as in the kissing noise when you blow a kiss - this is accompanied by slamming her palm into her mouth and then pulling it away as she 'blows' you a kiss)

She's beginning to do 'woof woof' and 'book book' (this is mummy's pathetic attempt at a chicken noise..) - we have chickens next door.....

There feels like there should be more than that - probably because she does actually spend most of the day 'talking'.... to me, to the teddy, to the phone, to any object (animate or inanimate) that will listen to her with some degree of interest.... it never stops. I really don't know where she gets it from .......

Not to stereotype but.......

...... ten points to the first person to guess the demographic of the people who live next door. I have been writing a PhD to the tunes of Kylie Minogue for four days now. I don't dislike her music but I'm not a raving fan either .... but guaranteed that by December I'll know most of the lyrics by heart.

I needed a boost so I cheated....

Okay - well I've just printed out EVERYTHING that I've written for my PhD so far - even if it isn't all edited and pretty yet - because I've just hit one of those walls of frustration that is liable to end up in tears soon. I think a trip to the pool with the little monkey may be in order this afternoon, because when you get to the point where you can't string 3 words together and a misplaced comma ends in tears.... well it's time to take a step back and re-group I think. I'm still on target with my timelines though so all should be okay.

Some of you will have received a panicky email about 1/2 hour ago about how to deal with one of my table of contents problems......I tried Word help. But has anyone else ever noticed that it's not very helpful at all? Though Dave has pointed out to me that I am pushing the limits of Word's capabilities with this thesis. Like how do you get your margins to mirror consistently (with one margin bigger than the other for binding purposes) when you switch between sections with some pages portrait and others landscape? And is this really a problem I thought I would ever need to deal with in life? So if any of you consider yourselves to be Word gurus and did not in fact get my email awhile ago - please feel free to let me know and I'll include you in any further pleas for help!!

Cheers.

Random musings

Just a few thoughts to share. Realised that I had not shown pics of the gorgeous flowers I got from Dave on our wedding anniversary.

If I hadn't mentioned it, the theme of the fourth wedding anniversary is flowers or fruit. You have to be fairly creative if you're buying for my husband then because I can only imagine the look on his face if I'd presented him with flowers or a basket of seasonal produce...... so this is what he ended up with.....



And so as not to be left out - this is what his daughter will be wearing this spring :)



On another note, our daughter has taken to kicking the wall for a good half an hour before she will finally give up the ghost and go to sleep - this is day and night sleeps so not quite sure what's going on here unless she's been sneaking sips of mummy's caffeinated drinks while she's not looking. Anyway, today she finally went to sleep - but notice the foot poised and ready for when she wakes up and wants to let me know she's finished her nap!!! ... MUMMY UP NOW PLEASE!!! (thump thump thump).

62,703 words and the best cake I've ever made

thanks to Lib for the great cake recipe - it sank a little due to my impatience and opening the oven door. it's a pretty fool proof cake - i nearly forgot the buttermilk (quite a key ingredient in a butter cake one would imagine) and ended up adding it AFTER the self-raising flour stage... oh well. it was delectable warm straight out of the oven.... and not bad a few hours later iced with a lemon butter frosting....mmmmm. I owe the new word count on the PhD to this cake ;)

I'm sorry..... what day is it??

Good Morning dear readers (it is morning yes??).... As Meegan's post just reminded me, the Farmer's Markets were on in Blackwood St Mitchelton yesterday (Sunday); an event I had been looking forward to attending. I had visions of walking there, having some breakfast, doing some shopping for fresh produce and then walking home, having some lunch made with said fresh produce and then all curling up for an afternoon nap after a big morning out.

How the weekend went was really in reality, incredibly different.

Friday morning began bright and early after our night out to dinner. Despite not having small child in the house, we, out of habit, woke early and began our respective days. Me, on the computer PhD-ing. Dave, having worked in excess of 60 hours that week already had the day off and headed over to a mate's house for a few hours before having the bring the car back to me at 10am so I could head out to Uni. I went and saw my supervisor and attended a compulsory seminar (What Happens to Your Thesis after you Submit). On a side note, I was relieved to hear that only 3 theses in the past 10 years have been failed outright and only about 3 per year (out of 500 or so submitted) are recommended as a Master's instead of a PhD.... so I figure the odds are with me and I'm focusing on "Revise and Resubmit" as my worst case scenario - which would still be pretty bad but not life-stopping. So I left the seminar feeling heartened - but stopped back in to see my supervisor, where I was reminded that she would be on holidays for the 3 weeks PRECEDING the week before my deadline. I'm not sure how I had overlooked this fact - perhaps I never knew it, though she said it as though she had told me 1000 times. Either way, panic (again) set it. My timeline had just been decimated and I drove home in a near state of tears (narrowly avoiding some idiot who backed out into 2 lanes of traffic straight in front of me while I was driving 60km/hr). Went and picked up Charli girl, managed to get annoyed by my MIL - which is an easy thing at the best of times, but in my then current state it was almost inevitable. by the time I got home, I was a mess.

Dave, meanwhile, had not had a leisurely day off. From the moment he had handed over the car keys to me, his work mobile had rung. The email server that had been playing up all week (hence the 60 hour week by Thursday), had fallen over and completely died. Now I've probably got the facts wrong on this one, but the point I am trying to make is that something at his worked was majorly SCREWED and it had become his responsibility to have it fixed by Monday.

So Friday turned into Friday night and then the fun really began. We put Charli to bed and Dave and I kept working - he on his email server, me on my PhD in a panic-driven state. Then Dave started to feel sick and went to bed - I kept working... and working. And before you know it it's 11.15 and I freak out - you don't want to sit up that late when you know you'll be up again at 5am with small child. So I head to bed. On the way I do something to my back and by the time I hit the bed I'm in tears with the searing pain rocketing up through my pelvis and hips (have I mentioned how much I love being pregnant??). After 20 minutes or so of tears and wriggling I manage to find a position that stops just short of agony and try to go to sleep. The screaming begins. I bash Dave to get up (sick or not I was NOT moving!!). He struggles out of bed and throws a bottle of milk in her direction - it does nothing to stop the incessant noise emanating from our child. We bring her into bed with us, we give her drugs, we give her water, we cuddle her. Nothing would console her. She slept for 1/2 hour. The whole routine started again (of course without the drugs next round because you are only allowed to drug them every 4-8 hours!!). We lose track of time. The sun comes up. Our eyes are hanging out of our heads. We pray she will have a morning sleep.

Lunchtime comes........ and goes. Still no napping. Dave is back working on the computer. I'm entertaining devil child. Noon to 2pm is spent putting her back to bed after she figures out (why now??) that she can get out of her bed without waiting for us to say it's ok. Finally she sleeps..... for 1/2 hour!! I go in to discover her waking up - no wonder she didn't sleep long, she finally passed out from exhaustion on the bloody floor!! The afternoon begins. I decide to take her to the pool - if she's going to be in pain (and hence a pain in the bum!) we may as well try some distraction. All goes well - apart from the fact that by this stage I'm not sure I should be driving a moving vehicle.... in fact I'm not sure I should be attempting to even care for a toddler but anyway.

She's asleep by 5.30pm and Dave and I - so overtired by this stage, don't go to bed as we should but keep working.......because the email server is still not functional and not surprisingly my PhD had not finished itself!! Dave gets up at 4.30 and goes into work until lunchtime. While there he goes out into the foyer of the building (where the loos are) and in the meantime security decide to mess with the system and he ends up locked between the front doors and the inner doors of his building.... because of course, this weekend couldn't get any better could it?? Needless to say he managed to get out of that situation and was able to join us at home in what could be argued was a less enticing situation.... still teething child.

I'm going to shorten this post somewhat by saying that Saturday night was pretty much a mirror image of Friday night. I'm really not sure by Sunday how we were still functioning - it's not just the lack of sleep (about 5 hours in 2 nights) but that screaming will really wear you down after awhile. I think that taking sharp knitting needles and scraping them across my eardrums may have been more entertaining that watching my small child scream in pain and clutch at her mouth and look at me imploring to make it all go away!!

I'm not really sure what we did yesterday. It's a blur. I vaguely remember her crashing out in my arms at 10.30 and me putting her to bed. Some people would say we should have gone and had a nap ourselves. Anyone who has been through this before will understand that we were now so dosed up on caffeine and beyond what anyone could describe as tired.... so what did we do? Yep, kept working.

Last night I was in bed by 8.30pm. Dave was about 1/2 an hour behind me though I had to check that with him this morning as I've got no recollection of hearing him come in at all. I got up at 1.20 to change her nappy and then again at 5.30 this morning when she woke. A much better night by all accounts. Of course Dave and I have a sleep debt now that needs about another week's worth of good sleep to counter-act. I sent Charli off to her Nan's and Dave off to work (where it will no doubt go un-noticed by every IT user in the company that my husband has just worked pretty much non-stop for 3 days, while listening to his daughter scream ... just so that they could get the latest jokes emailed to their Inboxes bright and early this Monday morning). I went back to sleep 'just for another hour' and just woke. So now I'm another 1/2 day behind on my thesis and still feel like I need to go and chug back some caffeine.....

Charli girl we love you..... and it's lucky we do. Monkey #2, if you are in there and listening (and I know you are because the whole time Charlotte was on the outside screaming, I had you on the inside kicking out in response to her.....), then take note: you are not to ever cut teeth - I'll puree your bloody food until you leave home if you promise me that I will never have a weekend like this again!!

Happy 4th Wedding Anniversary

well four years ago, hubby and I tied the knot - having known each other for about 10 years prior to that!! tonight we went to Brett's Wharf Restaurant - the place he proposed to me (and I accepted!!), the place we got married and the place we spent our first (and now 4th) wedding anniversary. In true Brett's style they wished us well.......


This was written on Dave's plate of Affogato dessert (icecream with a shot of espresso and a shot of Bailey's). I have nothing but wonderful things to say about my cold seafood platter and the scrummy chocolate fondue with strawberries, freshly made orange marshmallows and pistachio praline I had for dessert.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY SWEETHEART

56,929 words and a jar of nutella later....

And I don't feel like I'm any closer to finishing....clearly I am as I've written 3,000 words more than last time...... no photos of updated pile as I only add to it after my supervisor has said the chapters are okay. I'll get a chapter back from her this Friday. Standby dear readers as some of you are about to receive my Chapter One via email for comment. It's about 10 pages long and it's meant to 'sell' my thesis to the examiners - some suggest that this may be the only chapter that an examiner truly bothers reading - others suggest that it's the first impression they get and while the rest of the thesis will be read, this first chapter may colour the rest of their reading. It's supposed to have a 'wow' factor - you're meant to be left with the feeling that you'd like to go on and read the rest of my thesis...... all constructive feedback greatly appreciated... remember I am pregnant so you have to precede any negative comments with at least one positive..... :)

Carla

A night away from ...... child AND thesis!!

Went to a friend's wedding this afternoon, followed by a cocktail reception for 3 hours at the Powerhouse in Brisbane..... the bride looked stunning and the venue was totally different .... we loved it.

It was so nice to get dressed up!! Hubby doesn't have to wear a shirt and tie to work and as you can imagine, sitting in front of a computer while 6 months pregnant does not afford one the need to get dolled up - so it was fun to play dress ups and go out - even if just for a few hours....
Not that this photo really does it justice but thanks to Beck for the lovely black wrap (again!!) shown in this photo - it was tres chilly up on the rooftop so this was my saving grace!!

Not happy Jan.....

Just needed to jump on and vent about my latest issues with our tax agents. I'd like to point out that up until 2 years ago I used to do all my own tax but then between rental properties, low income tax offsets, child-related tax benefits, well it all just got too confusing.... I mucked up one year and got audited and hit for $2000 I had to pay back. I decided to just start paying a professional to do it. And for the last 2 or so years we've been happy with our tax agents. A lovely man we'll call Scott has handled our affairs nicely. But then this year we got a lady (let's call her Jan given the title of today's entry!!) who has done nothing but shit me to tears!!! She was dipsy during the appointment for a start - never a good sign. Then I had said to her:

"look I'll check on our health records and see if it's worth claiming a rebate but I don't think so as I don't think we hit the $1500 threshold - if you DON'T hear from me tomorrow just go ahead and process our refund"......

Two weeks go by and after 3 phone calls to ascertain why we had not yet received the papers to sign, she finally gets on the phone and says:

Her: "aren't I waiting on information from you?"
Me: "No, I said if you DIDN'T hear from me to just go ahead with the claim"
Her: "Oh, well I'll complete that today and mail it to you"

d'oh thanks. So the forms turn up. I just about die when I see the money darling hubby owes - and why? Because she had not logged into the ATO office and deducted the amounts that he had voluntarily paid to ATO during the year he had his own business .... AND..... apparently I'm getting 4 times the amount back that I expected - why? Because she has me down for an offset that you can only claim had Charlotte been born a full 12 months earlier than she was AND her comment when I called to check was "don't you have two children?"...... oh sweet jesus. So I got her to correct that so I wasn't up for another ATO debt when they figured that one out!!

And for all of this we've been charged $500 for the privilege of getting our tax done - WHAT THE ????? - that is a far cry from the little brochure that appeared in our mailbox in July suggesting that these people could do your tax from as little as $60 a refund (yes, apparently that is only the case if you have one group certificate and no children, rental properties or anything else that would require them to have two brain cells to work out your refund!!) .....

Hubby and I have decided to return to good old e-tax next year - screw it, who needs a tax accountant charging $500 to stuff up your tax return - I'm capable of doing that myself for free!!!

53,839 words and counting

Hi dear readers,
Allow me to just take a quick moment out of my thesis-writing day to share with you the growing pile of paper that will (in 13 weeks I hope) be submitted as my PhD thesis. this is only photos of chapters that have been seen by my supervisor, commented upon and revisions made - so it's still probably only half of what you will eventually see. But then ironically the thesis will actually seem smaller than this because the thesis office at UQ is now - in the interest of 'green' thinking - allowing double sided printing of theses. I think this decision was also made to reduce the number of workers' compensation claims that were being made for back injuries by those having to pick up the documents!!