Mummy meltdown

Well it finally happened. That day that was bound to happen when everything just hit me. That day was yesterday. Out of the blue. Like these moments usually do - to catch you off guard. I had Owen's second birthday party to be at by 2pm at Wynnum. 2pm. I mean it's not like it was first thing in the morning. However I had been awake most of the night with a little Zie who has decided that she must be fed every 1.5-2hours and it's killing me. Add that to the fact that it's been going on for a few nights so I was sleep deprived, Dave starts his new job soon and I know that as wonderful as that is it is going to be a stressful transition, I didn't get the job I want so I have to return to my job in 8 days (and counting), Charli is being an inquisitive 2-year old - constantly asking questions and back chatting us, Mum's birthday was on Thursday (she would have been 60)...... well it all just added up to a day when everything just went BLAAAAH. Suddenly this weight just hit me. The thought of trying to get Charli and Zie both fed lunch and dressed, and me dressed (I was still in my pjs at 11am).......it's hard to explain to anyone who has never had 2 kids and been sleep deprived - and by anyone, I mean you have to be the mummy. Because I'm still not convinced that any man has half a clue as to how hard this all is.... I'm sorry that sounds sexist but it's just the way it is.

Anyway, so the breaking point was my lovely little Zie would not stop rolling and I couldn't get her pants on her.... and bam. I am curled up on the bed next to my naked baby crying and sobbing and wondering just how easy it would be to hurt one of them. It's hard to admit that here on a public forum, but I'm going to.... because I think that people are all too quick to gloss over the hardships of parenthood sometimes. I mean, I would never have comprehended how someone could possibly even consider harming their children - before I had kids and hadn't slept properly in over a week. Then the reality was all too close to home.

Then the real kicker. The event to really make me feel guilty as hell for being human and crying? Darling two-year old Charli, inquisitive and caring, comes in, gets up on the bed, starts patting me and questioning "what's wrong mummy? you sad? it's okay."..... over and over and over again. I tried to smile through the tears. Tried to tell myself that no small child should have to see their mummy totally lose it on a Saturday afternoon when in reality we were meant to be going to a party. So I dragged myself out of bed and got dressed and we went to the party. It's a blur. Charli seemed to have a good time - and a big thank you to Shaz who spent most of the afternoon running around after her as I just didn't have the energy.

Anyway, driving home in a daze (Sharon informs me they were driving next to me the whole way home with the girls waving at me from their car and I didn't even notice them) hubby texts and says he's spoken to Mother-in-Law and Charli can stay there for the night. So feeling guilty again I drop her over there and she is now staying there until Monday morning. We had another bad night with Zie and I am at a loss as to how to deal with it. Please no suggestions. We've tried them all. I'm not going down the path of controlled crying. I don't feel comfortable co-sleeping with her (I'm not opposed to it I just am so dog tired that I'm not game to), we will be trying the heater tonight, hubby tried giving her formula through the night to give me a break but she screamed for 45 minutes before he was forced to come in and reluctantly wake me to feed her, she's been wrapped, not wrapped, cuddled, burped, she's not in pain as she immediately falls asleep as soon as she comes in to bed with me and takes one suck of my boob... *sigh*..... she just wants her mummy and mummy desperately needs some alone sleep time. This time shall pass. And I'll look back and wonder where the time went. But right now the immediate future seems bleak and sleep deprived and tiring.

Parenthood - who'd do it right? I would. All over again. But just let me say "FUCK". Sometimes it's hard.

A lot to answer for....

My PhD examiner who never returned my PhD report that is. Why? I just lost out to another candidate for a postdoctoral position that I really really really wanted. Why? Because this other candidate had their PhD already and yours truly does not. Otherwise I was an exceptional candidate for the job, 'very employable', good experience, fantastic project management skills... blah blah blah. It was actually hard to hear all the positive praise but then still be told I was unsuccessful. Oh well, what's the Zen response to all of this? Perhaps it is best that Dave and I are not both starting new jobs at the same time........ as he was successful in securing a new role that starts next Thursday - yay for hubby.

Library opening hours

After having read Meegan's blog regarding having no books to read that haven't been read 1000 times before - and then having a couple of other people respond in the positive to my comment about borrowing books from me - well it occurs to me that we need to organise some sort of book library/swap amongst us all. No reason as far as I can see either, why people interstate should not be able to join us in this. Some of my books I will want back. Others can just continue on in the great book swap of life. So I'm not sure how to get started with this. Do I list some of my top 10 most owned authors? Do I let you all know the genre I like and see if it's up your alley? Suggestions are most welcome regarding how we can expand our reading potential without having to fork out $29.95 for a book that takes me 48 hours to read (edit. well they used to only take me that long to read. Now thanks to two children and being able to usually only read about 2 pages uninterrupted, it does tend to take a little longer to complete a novel these days).

Childhood memories

Hello dear readers,
Today I am ordering books from Amazon.com....... I am trying to find all of those wonderful books that I remember from my childhood. And we're ordering them for our kids...

Lowly worm books by Richard Scarry
Where the wild things are
Enid Blyton's the Magic Faraway Tree series
Raggedy Ann's Cooking School (I have this on tape with my mum reading it to me :))

So in an attempt to cut down on shipping costs - if anyone in Brisbane would like to order any books for their little ones - special books that they remember from their childhoods... let me know.

Miscellaneous memories

• Mackenzie played peekaboo with me the other night after her bath. Pulling the towel she was wrapped in over her face and then pulling it down and belly-laughing as I yelled 'boo' repeatedly for about 5 minutes

• Today while making breakfast a glass cutting board fell onto the bench and I waited with bated breath for it to shatter while exclaiming "SHIT".... Suddenly from behind me I hear "shit" from my two-year old. I turn horrified - sure that it was Dave who was going to be the first to corrupt her ever-burgeoning vocabulary.... but no. " No charli, mummy said 'shoot' like we 'shoot' with your toy cap gun, you know? shoot" "no mummy, shit" she exclaims. I sigh. I turn and resume pouring milk over cereal, intent on the task of ignoring her expletives, fervently praying that she will not still be chanting 'shit' in 2 hours when we go over to my parents-in-law. I look at her sideways, trying to see whether she will say it again. She eyes me back sternly and proclaims "you mummy, naughty".... I leave the room laughing

• My face being spattered with rather saliva-ry sweet potato as Zie, after tasting her first mouthful of food, rolls it around her tongue until the food is good and truly wet and then blows a raspberry at me, right as I lean in to ask "do you like it?"..... she found it rather funny to say the least. My two baby girls - a laugh a bloody minute :)

• Me going into charli's room after a ten minute session of yelling when she is meant to be sleeping only to have her say 'charli (a)wake mummy - park?'..... I've learnt my lesson about saying "when you wake up we'll go to the park"... sigh. Literal bloody beings aren't they?

• Zie's first 'words' - dada - at the tender age of 5 months....... just like her sister. I already envision a future in which Dave and I have to have earplugs surgically inserted into our ears to prevent them from bleeding - being exposed to 2 little girls aged 2 and 4 who talk from sun-up to sundown - enough to make anyone's ears bleed..... it's lucky that sometimes it's nice things like "I lub you mummy" - the new one from charli.

• And finally today, all dressed up to go to lunch - just in jeans and a tanktop but looking rather slim and hot if I do say so myself ;) charli declares me 'pretty', races for her toy camera and says "picture you mummy? cheese!!" And its moments like that that make it all worth it people :)
  

About the day I used up the previous 24 hours of rain

Well at least dear readers, that is how it felt in my moment of guilt lying there under my vichy shower, enjoying my 90 minutes of pampering at Mummabubba. Mummabubba is a day spa for mummies - "makes proud mothers into beautiful mothers" is their motto - and while I don't think I came out any more beautiful - my god did I come out feeling rejuvenated. I had the mineral wrap body rejuvenator. Start off with someone giving your tired winter skin a good rubbing over with a sea salt scrub. Then this is washed off with a vichy shower - a shower head that is so aerated it feels like silk being poured over your skin...... then a mineral mud pack was lathered over my entire body and the lid of the 'bed' I was lying on was closed. this bed had multiple water jets both under my body and above and suddenly my entire being was being massaged with these jets of water. While I will admit that the jets of water to my feet was reminiscent of some form of WWII water torture (okay so I'm not keen on foot massages either) - the rest of it was heavenly (and I learnt later that I could have asked for the foot bit to be turned off so I know that for next time!!). Meanwhile, while being massaged with warm water jets, the inside of this vichy shower bed was also filling with steam - in essence it was like being in a sauna and spa at the same time. Oh and did I mention that during this 24 minutes of water heaven, my lovely consultant was giving me a scalp massage? Really, wine and steak on Monday, Vichy shower rejuvenation on Thursday... I'm not sure I've had a week like this in ......oh I don't know - since about pre-July 2004 when i first got myself knocked up and all this fun of parenthood began ;)

My goal for the rest of the year? To visit this divine kingdom of mother pampering at least once a month. Stay tuned to see if it happens.....

Why today was a good day.

1. I went to work on my own - without the girls - solo..... to discuss some handover issues with the person who has been doing my job.

2. Mackenzie's first time without me went exceptionally well, she drank from a cup, she fed from a spoon, she slept well. the only downside? I discovered just how much milk I'm going to have to milk from myself to keep her fed for one entire work day. Lord!!!

3. On my return home, both girls have fallen fast asleep allowing me to get on with writing a job application for a postdoctoral position I want to apply for (oh and to update my blog ;)

4. Super A-mart called to let me know that our couch - which was an expected 3-6 weeks away - can be delivered tomorrow. I'm not going to tell Dave this, I'm going to let it be a surprise for when he gets home. Of course, if he reads this it won't be a surprise but I think he bored of my blog weeks ago......

5. And last but not least, while doing handover we decided to go to lunch (after my phone call to my mother-in-law confirmed that all was well with the small people) - and I got to eat a steak, on my own, solo - without a baby at my boob or a toddler poking her fingers in my food to check whether or not it was hot. And I drank a glass of red wine. Steak and wine and no kids. I swear it doesn't get better than this. Having kids has made me - if nothing else - appreciate the small things in life - you know, like being able to pee without a running commentary from a 2-year old ;)

Roly poly girl

Well, my little second born muffin has one up on her sister in the smart stakes :) Not only is she rolling a month earlier than Charli ever did, but she realises that she can sleep on her tummy - something that caused Charli great distress when she first learnt to roll

Dreamworld!

Well as Sharon and Meegan have already mentioned - last Friday was a day at Dreamworld for a group of (insane) mothers and our (even more insane) children......personally Charli, Zie and I made it as far as Yatala before I had to stop before I either killed Charli or myself..... she wanted out, I need to pee.... it was a recipe for a not so calm car trip..... we were running a bit early so we stopped..

We decided to skip the Wiggles concert - I took one look at the crowds and just couldn't bear it. Here are some photos.




All in all a superb day - as far as it can be with two small kids at a theme park... I am working on making Charli my 'rides' partner (dave doesn't like them) - we rode the carousel twice, that chair ride on chains that swings out (?) she loved it!!! squealed and hung on for dear life... :) we went on the big red car and dorothy's tea cups - round and round and round until Mummy thought she would throw up LOL.... but you know what really made the day worthwhile.....??? ... tucking her into bed that night, she was a little crazy and it took a while to calm her down ;) she put her arms around me and FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME said "I lub you".... :) now if that doesn't make it all worthwhile I don't know what does

......however, here I am two days later - incredibly sleep deprived thanks to a baby who has taken 48 hours to stop being wired from the Dreamworld experience (picture trying to feed Zie under an umbrella in Wiggles World while songs by Anthony, Greg, Murray and Jeff blared out from a loudspeaker.....I don't think Zie blinked for about 24 hours she was so wired!!). Also thanks to Charli I've been awake since 4am. I've got my money on those nasty two-year old molars coming through. For her sake it better be teeth. If this is some permanent behaviour that is manifesting we are in deep trouble. She wakes up bouncing and running around the living room like a chimpanzee doped up on speed and she doesn't stop moving and talking until we wrestle her into bed around 1pm for a nap... if we're lucky.

Every day has its ups and downs

Ups.

• Got half of the front garden mulched while Charli has been at her Nanny and Chandie's
• Zie has figured out how to roll!! I have missed it both times as she waits until I leave the room and I return to find her flipped onto her tummy. either that or the dog is flipping her over when I turn my back.
• I have been able to write a shopping list unaided by Charli - and to clean her room so I can see the floor. I will enjoy this state of order for the next hour until she returns home and has it all messed up again by the time she goes to bed :)

Downs.

• Well actually there is only one down. But it's a biggie. Huge in fact. The University has decided they can wait no longer (and fair enough too) and I have to find another examiner to examine my thesis. I am devastated. The silver lining is that the university are so concerned about how long this is taking (and no doubt the effect this is having on my mental health!!) that they are doubling the fee to the examiner IF they can return the report in LESS THAN FOUR WEEKS. This at least is an improvment on having to wait another 8-12 weeks. However, graduation in July is a hope of the past. So I'm pretty pleased that I had scrawled all over my calendar GRADUATION WEEK on the week beginning July 16. Maybe I can find some whiteout to get rid of that. sigh

Edited to add
As soon as I walked away and opened a can of diet coke it exploded in my face. So there is another down. And as Libby will know, this 'bad' is a bit self-perpetuating according to The Secret so I should stop writing about bad things and 'attracting' even more bad things..... but then what is the fun of a blog if I can't vent :)

Happy Mother's Day

Dear Mum,
It has once again been a bittersweet day for me. With two beautiful princesses to call my own on this Mother's Day I still shed tears that you aren't here for me to spoil. I lay in bed last night, remembering all the mother's days of the past.

When I was in Grade 2 and we were all allowed to buy a gift from the stall that had been set up at school. All items were donated and cost 50c or less and you became the proud owner of a very large plastic orange serving spoon. Oh lucky you. :)

The year I purchased with my very own money (with a little help from my godparents no doubt) a tiny china plate, saucer and teacup with I Love You Mummy written on it.

And years later, when you had hinted to me that you weren't that fond of breakfast in bed so I used to get up early and go out to the kitchen and set the table and make you a pot of tea (leaf tea, none of this tea bag stuff for my mum!!) It's funny when I think about it now that I used to cook you breakfast... the only day of the year you'd eat breakfast. In all the years we lived together I never saw you eat breakfast, not even cereal, except for on Mother's Day!! The things we do for our children .... as I'm sure the coming years will teach me.

The poems I wrote. The cards I made. You treasured them all.......when I get cranky with my kids, I remember the love you always had for me and I try to be a little more patient with them. You are my hero mum, you always will be. I love you. Your grand-daughters love you. I miss you mum.

Love Carla

There is no title to describe this day.

Hello dear readers,

My feral darling child number one did not improve after her stint at Kinder Gym yesterday and so began a day of me drugging her with Calm - a naturopathic remedy that is supposed to reign in your child before they turn into the devil incarnate....... trust me..... today it did not work. In fact by 4pm I was ready to try some of the stuff myself. My thought process being that if it did not calm her, perhaps if I took it I at least would not care that she was breaking everything she touched, screaming no at every opportunity, and generally behaving in a way that would possess me to give her away should anyone be foolish enough to want her in her current mood.

Some home products for the bathroom turned up - general storage stuff that warrants assembly. Charli was very um... 'helpful' in putting it together with me and Dave arrived home in time to rescue Charli from mummy putting her into the box the goods arrived in and packing her off with the courier...... (breathe....)

My supervisor called. I have been awaiting my examiner's reports for five months now.... do you hear me people??? Five bleedin' months. I bust a gut getting this PhD done in 16 weeks, while hugely pregnant and the requisite 8 week waiting period for examination comes.... and goes... and with it, any hope of graduating in July. Today I find out two things that make this even worse.

1. The thesis office have now decided they can wait no longer. In 7 days if this examiner's report is not back, they go out to another examiner and I get to start the waiting all over again

If this is not enough to warrant tears I then get a phone call from a friend who submitted her thesis 6 weeks after me. Not only did she get both reports back today but she has no changes to make..... please don't get me wrong. I am thrilled for her. This is every PhD student's dream.... NO CHANGES..... but today of all days, I am jealous, angry, disappointed beyond description. You see we were meant to graduate together in July..... after both being enrolled for nearly 9 years we both finally submitted at the same time..... and graduation together was the final prize but alas it is not to be. I am shattered. I am drinking Baileys. I may not stop at one.

Today lots of nice things happened. I'm sure they did. I'm sure Mackenzie was blowing bubbles so hard she looked like she was rabid and foaming at the mouth. At some stage I'm sure I spotted Charli lying next to Zie holding her hand while they watched Dora together. Today I should be thankful for a loving husband, two beautiful daughters and the fact that we are all healthy. But today dear readers I don't feel like being generous, I just feel like feeling sorry for myself. Tomorrow I promise will be another day.... a better day...... a day filled with more laughter than crying....... but for tonight, a couch meant for wallowing beckons me.

Baking that carrot cake

I would like to point out to people that Charli will not eat eggs..... please note what she does with the whisk covered in raw egg!!!

Kinder Hell (I mean Gym)....

Well today started better than most - everyone slept until 7.30am and I woke up feeling refreshed - a state that I rarely awaken in anymore. We breakfasted, showered and dressed..... and we headed for the local Youth Club's kinder gym class. The first one. Our trial class. Our last class ever if there is indeed a higher power looking over us..... it was horrendous. Not because the instructors weren't good. Not because the other mums were awful or unfriendly (though by the end of the class I think a few of them did indeed sigh a sigh of relief when they realised that I had decided not to return next week). The problem? A gym full of lots of bounce-y mats, bars, ladders on walls (!!!) and a two-year old who was in no mood to be told to 'wait', that it was not yet 'her turn' or that 'you are not allowed to play on that equipment, only this equipment'.

I turned into public housing mother screaming at Charli to get down off the wall while I had Mackenzie attached to my boob and screaming with mouth full of nipple because I was not exactly being calm enough to let the milk flow. Do you have that picture in your head? I hope so because I'll carry it with me for many days. To be fair on myself I did start out calmly using the correct principles. .... giving Charli choices about either playing on the gym mats properly or hopping in the pram and going home. But when I had to feed Mackenzie... well Charlotte quickly realised that my options for disciplining her were indeed limited and unlike at home there was no bedroom to be conveniently locked in while she threw a tantrum of nuclear explosion like proportions. I had finally been given the ultimate test in parenting - a toddler tantrum in public with a baby screaming to be fed. I failed appallingly. But that's okay. I'm sure that there will be many more. Some I will handle with more aplomb. Some I am sure will be just as bad as today. I trust that there will be no permanent psychological damage - to either the toddler, the baby or myself. But one thing is very clear - there will be no more kinder gym until it becomes legal to use a long handled cattle prod to keep children under control in public.

The week in review

It's been a week like any other.... this week it's been washing clothes with some help from the girls :)



watching telly after a long and tiring day while eating ice-cream (this one was mine, charli was meant to have a bite. while she is eating this I am in the kitchen getting myself another one after Dave declares that I am unlikely to get this one back!!)

baking our first cake together. A home-made carrot cake. If I can work out how to post video (help Michelle!!) I'll post a video - very funny.



Charli in her 'mummy-made playschool-type car'..... it's pretty lame. I'll work on a better one soon.


And in true carla-style lately - a cheesecake to end the week. this one is a chocolate hazelnut one - except it has orange juice and rind in it so it turned out tasting like jaffas which doesn't really thrill me but Dave, Bekk and Matt seemed to like it. I of course am still eating it like there is no tomorrow - this pregnance weight is finding it hard to come off what with all of the cheesecake I'm eating!!! Note the piping of the cream - a much easier task after the Dora cake piping!!

An A-type Weekend

Well this weekend, like many others, was filled with 'projects'. Among these, another attempt at a cheesecake. In an attempt to mimic the last masterpiece, we again melted chocolate to 'drizzle' across the top - however, it did not drizzle, but rather 'blobbed' onto the cheesecake with such reckless abandon that we decided to smear it across instead......... then, to cover the rather un-aesthetically pleasing look of the top, Dave 'dusted' it with Quik (read, threw large amounts on top of it with the intention of shaking it off only to realise that it was a cheesecake in a springform pan and dusting it off was not really an option) - he then 'blew' it off - at which point large amounts of Quik blew straight back up into his face. I fell on the floor laughing - you had to be there I know, but it was pretty funny (and I'd had a Bailey's or 3 as all small children were out for the count!!). Anyway, here is the end result. Of course, we had forgotten how hard chocolate sets and it's now near impossible to cut a slice of this cheesecake, but we're managing somehow :)


In addition to baking, I also did a spot of gardening. After meeting Meegan at the Blackwood St markets this morning, I purchased 7 pots of herbs for $10 - what a bargain - and the garden that used to house a lemon tree before the Level 5 water restrictions claimed it's last breathe, is now housing the herbs - hopefully their root system will survive our water-deprived clay soil a little better than the citrus tree did!!



After the planting was done, I took some time out to just lie around and snap some pics of Mackenzie (see sweetheart, I DO take photos of you sometimes - pity I didn't take the time to clean the sleep out of your eyes too!!)



Hmmm, what else.... I know I did more than that. Oh well, maybe not so A-type of a weekend after all - it sure felt busy... oh yeah, that's right, I also spread nearly 2 cubic metres of mulch on the gardens... and I have the sore muscles to prove it. Night!!

Charli (aka Dora) to the rescue

Picture it: Charli is playing in the backyard with a skipping rope. About 20 noisy miner birds start harassing a baby butcher bird (not that I feel much pity as these birds are usually the aggressors).... they are making a hell of a racket and when Charli asks what the noise is I say that the birds are just playing. Surprisingly she doesn't believe me and pretends to tie one end of her skipping rope around her waist harness style while holding the other end up in the air and screaming "I'm tumming, bird, I'm tumming....wait". I could barely dial the phone to call her dad I was laughing so hard. Where are those video cameras when you need them :)

We did it!!

The Pre-Party Preparations.

Well I'd been thinking about Charli's Dora the Explorer second birthday party for many many weeks. In reality however I left most preparations until the second to last moment and spent a couple of nights waking at 3am wondering how I was going to design the maps or more importantly, what the hell I was going to put on the maps, and how all of this was going to happen in the next three days with Charli not finding out what I was doing ....... I'm not going to explain here the whole concept of Dora and Boots and their adventures. If you are clueless and would like to be clued.... feel free to visit the Dora site at the Nick Jr website.

Needless to say, my most amazingly creative sister-in-law Bekk - who is stuck in Mt Isa working at the moment and therefore has many an hour to spend on such tasks given the questionable venues she has to choose from at which to socialise - offered (silly girl) to make some backpacks up for the kids from purple felt. I was quick to take up her offer and here's how they turned out.



Unfortunately this little guy seems to have lost an eye - rest assured they were not made like this - Bekk was not willingly scarring small children for life by presenting them with one-eyed backpacks!!! All of this creativity achieved with a sewing machine that was not available until the night before the party and then went on the fritz with three backpacks to go!! Thank you so much Bekk!!

The Dora Hunt

Well the kids arrived and after trying to keep about 7 kids under the age of 3 penned up in the lounge room until everyone arrived we decided to get started without a couple of them. Backpacks were distributed - much to Henry's delight who was a bit put out that all the presents were for Charli Girl (and rightly so Henry!!) Kids were asked to pull out their maps



Of course the concept was lost a little on children who were not yet literate, however, the first stop was the big blue river (a tarp in the front yard) and all the kids had to look in their backpacks for their skipping ropes so that we could make a rope bridge and cross the river (lame I know but I couldn't think of anything else at the last moment because of course I had not scripted this day - as if it would go to plan with 9 two-year olds in tow!!.... yes 9!!! so much for the rule of inviting one more than the child's age to their parties.... I read that little parenting tip after the invites had all gone out ha ha).

Next stop was Quicksand Cave - something we'd put a little more effort into - our carport decorated with purple plastic walls and sand on the floor.



The kids were told that they were not allowed to touch the sand or they would sink. I potentially have instilled a beach phobia into every attending child. Years from now on the psychologist's couch they will tell of a Dora party at which for some inexplicable reason one of the parents made them afraid of sand!! They lept across the numbered 'rocks' to make it safely to the other side.

Once through the other 'wall' and it was onto the stop 3 - the Pinata Party. Of course the first thing they spied as they ran towards the backyard was a 2-ft high stuffed Dora sitting on a set of swings and the squeals of delight and shouts of 'party' (say it like the karate kid says 'bonsai') as they raced down the hill were priceless. I do hope that part was captured on video.

The Pinata

Once in the backyard I found myself standing alone at the Dora pinata asking everyone where the pinata was before someone pointed out that they probably didn't even know what a pinata was. Stupid kids!! So I dragged them all off the swings and made them come over to the pinata - because you know, this party was not about them having fun - it was about them following the bloody map that my husband had lovingly printed and laminated!! So get your bums over here kids!! :)




Each child took hold of a ribbon and 'pulled pulled pulled' until finally I stuck my hand up Dora's backside and pulled out the bottom of it myself - to the squeals of delight as children were rained with packets of dinosaur jubes and little toy whistles (disclaimer: parents were advised that after Dave had shoved a whistle in his mouth we had ascertained that they were not a choking hazard however all parents were responsible for their own children and whatever objects that may be put inside said child's mouth).

The Cake

Despite my godmother insisting that the Dora Cake looked like the Lion King (!! what the?? LOL) I would like to think that given

1. this was my first attempt ever at piping a cake,
   
2. it took over 10 colours (!!) and
   
3. I had to wait until all children had gone to bed which meant that I was icing this bloody thing at 9.30 on the Friday night

well I think it worked out rather well. I can't take full credit though. When Dave entered the kitchen with me close to tears, pouring a baileys and declaring that Dora was just going to have to be iced all in one colour and that I didn't give a crap anymore.... well he leaped to my rescue and got me started by doing all the fiddly black and brown outline piping...... I felt more enthused after that. So hats off to Dave or else this.....



may have looked like one large blue blob with a few sprinkles scattered over it. It was made all worth it when Charli recognised who it was. Of course I will admit to holding her down and asking about 10 times "who is it Charli?" before the survivalist in her must have realised that she was not getting any of that yummy looking cake until she'd given me the answer I was after..... she whispered "Dora", I beamed and then whisked the cake up stairs to cut it (much to the chagrin of all the drooling children). Charli seemed to like it.....


This unfortunately is probably also the only shot I got of the lovely birthday outfit that Aunty Libby bought for her months ago - well she didn't specifically buy it for her to wear at her birthday but it looked like something Dora might wear to a mexican fiesta!!

Post-party Blues

So everyone left and Dave, Charlotte, Mackenzie and I just hung in the backyard for awhile waiting for Charli to get tired...... we waited... and we waited..... and we waited....... Dave was approaching drunk on the beer he was consuming and had I not been breastfeeding I would have been close behind him...... finally at about 2.30pm we got both girls to sleep and instead of also sleeping we sat in the backyard and reminisced about the last two years. Charli finally woke up about 4pm and spent the next 2.5 hours alternating between sobbing and just plain crying. Those post-party blues can be a real bitch sometimes. We hoped for an early night......

..... but it was not to be. Well not for me and the girls at least :)

A girl's night in

Lying around on our bed at 7pm with the girls, Dave looked dead on his feet and so I stupidly suggested he go to bed as it was Charli's bedtime anyway and as soon as I had her and Zie settled I'd be right in there with him......he barely managed to say "i'll just have a nap" before the snoring began. By 8pm I knew that there was no way Charli was going to sleep - despite being tucked in with her Dora figurines from Samuel (thanks Sam!!)



I'd been into her room 4 times and finally made a deal with her. She could come out and watch telly but we were watching what I wanted to watch. I compromised. I wanted to watch a chick flick. Charli, as always, wanted to watch Dora. So we put on The Shaggy Dog with Tim Allen and she lay with me and watched the entire 2 hour feature length film - and it wasn't even animated. Of course I had to get a running commentary about the dog's antics the entire movie - and how you explain genetic modification to a two-year old I'll never know. She wanted to know what the pug dog crossed with the cane toad was - well I lied and said it was a funny looking frog. She seemed happy enough with that and I suspect she knew that if she pushed the point she would be sent to bed before the exciting conclusion to this movie. At 9.30pm she declared she was tired and she wandered off to bed. All in all a good day, though one that went on a little longer than I'd hoped. She sure does know how to milk a birthday party for all it's worth doesn't she??

Happy Birthday our darling sweetheart - your Nanna is watching over you for many more birthdays to come. We all love you. xoxox

Two years ago tonight....

I was sitting at the computer on a pregnancy website asking the girls there whether cramping meant that I could be in labour..... 5 and a half hours from now two years ago I went into labour. 10 hours and 17 minutes from now two years ago our lives were changed forever when our beautiful girl Charlotte was born. You have brought so much to our lives little girl. Each and every day you make me laugh - even on those days when I am so tired I could cry. I saw you today swinging on a 'big girl swing' - back and forth you swung your legs making yourself go higher and higher. Somehow I blinked and you grew up. Happy Birthday for tomorrow little girl. Your Daddy and I love you very much. xoxox

A little something to look forward to

Well dear readers, this coming September my lovely husband and I will have survived 5 years of marriage. Add to this the fact that the last 5 years have included a PhD, full-time study for Dave, family health problems, and two small children entering our lives and thus making alone time all but impossible - and I bit the bullet today and booked us in for two nights here for our anniversary. If you click on the accommodation link you'll see the luxurious lagoon suite which will be our home for two nights. And there will be a couples massage package at the day spa complete with champagne and cheese platter afterwards. Our package includes dinner each night, breakfast each day, and a bottle of champagne daily - clearly I am going to be drunk the whole time. Counting down the days until these two days of bliss will be ours - and I'm sure that we will only discuss the children for 40 of those 48 hours away.

Toesday bloody Toesday

Like Sunday Bloody Sunday, except on a Tuesday - and of my toe - and the blood was more of the internal bruising kind and less of the kind where 26 civil rights protesters were shot dead in Northern Ireland. So really my incident with my toe is really nothing like it, but here's what happened nonetheless. But first - why am I blogging about my toe? Many many posts ago, Beck started Toesday - I can't remember when, sorry you'll have to find the post yourself - it will give you a chance to read all of her posts - go on, it's worth it :)

Anyway, I've never posted a photo of my toes - though I did post a gorgeous one of Charli and her daddy and their toes many moons ago now when she was only 6 weeks old. But I don't like my feet and they are usually not for public viewing. But my unsightly feet have just been made worse by slamming the little toe of my left foot into a bedside table (and no I was not drunk worse luck - I felt every spine chilling crack in my little toe as it happened). It swelled immediately. Today it looks like this....

It feels worse than it looks. And don't think I haven't complained endlessly about this since it happened....and made Dave look at it 1000 times since yesterday........ he did exactly the same thing last week - I kid you not EXACTLY THE SAME THING except on a different piece of furniture. And he had previously broken his toe so it probably hurt more. AND Charli threw herself on his foot after he'd just hurt it. But he complained not once. What a trooper. I on the other hand will be milking this for all that it's worth. Because that's just the kind of gal I am :)

(p.s. and the photo is out of focus because of the excrutiating pain I am in .... or just because I am a crap photographer)

A bit of DIY

Well I often lament that I don't have very good craft skills. People such as Beck have more craft in her little finger than I have in my whole body. But when it comes to larger projects that are home oriented and a bit more blokey then I'm not too bad. I've been known to make my own flyscreens for rental properties that allowed waay too many bugs in for my liking. And my latest project is to transform these chairs. Here is a before shot:



Four chairs and solid pine table were my mum's and she had re-upholstered the chairs in this fabric to match our new corner lounge as the tables and chairs were in her dining room. However, since the table and chairs are now in our eat-in kitchen being used and abused by a toddler who is none too careful with her food...... well if you look very closely you would see remnants of spaghetti, playdough, weetbix and the stray piece of mushed up corn...... I needed wipable chair coverings!!

So off to spotlight I went in search of upholstery grade vinyl, a staple gun, some upholstery tacks, and calico. Then it was off to Clark Rubber for some new foam padding. Home again and the maddening task of removing tacks and staples from the bases began......4 weeks later - maddeningly trying to get this done with Charli asleep as her DIY skills are still being developed ;) and this is the end result.......



I won't be winning any upholstery awards but it suits our purposes.

Little susie homemaker

With the PhD still awaiting comment and me starting to almost feel on top of motherhood with two under two - I am back to baking. This.....




was presented to Michelle today when she came to visit. A white chocolate cheesecake. I believe her words were "bloomin' bloody wonderful" - and it was if I do say so myself.

Number of photos not equal to amount of love

My dearest Mackenzie,
I have been thinking about writing this for many weeks now. You just turned 3 months last weekend while we were on holidays with Meegan and Sharon and their brood and I realised that although it was your first beach holiday I failed to actually take any photos of you at the beach. This lack of photos is also I'm afraid carried over to your home life and I have been remiss in taking as many photos of you as I took of Charli when she was your age. But I must explain why. Some of it as you will come to understand should you ever have children of your own one day is due to a simple time issue. I no longer have any. I no longer have the luxury of standing above your cot as you sleep and taking 20 photos of every minute little change in facial expression in a three minute period. However, some of the reason for the paucity of photos is merely because with time, I've come to understand that so much more enjoyment can be gleaned from actually experiencing moments with your children rather than madly attempting to capture them on film. You will therefore see that I've taken less photos of Charli as she's gotten older as well. Why? Because I now sit and marvel at her antics each and every day rather than trying to video them. Similarly, I find myself propping you up on my legs and just 'talking' to you for ages. Listening to your gurgles and attempts to 'talk' to me. I love it. And I dont' want to miss a minute of your smiles by racing for the camera. But I promise to take at least some photos each month - you know, so you know that you weren't adopted at age 7 or anything :)

Love Mummy

I brought reality with me....

This won't be a long post about the weekend away with Meegan and Shaz as to be honest I'm still recovering. Three adults, four toddlers and a 10 year old....... relaxing weekend away? Hardly :)
Still I do want to thank the girls for coming away with me and letting me see just how possible (or not as the case may be) it would be to holiday with the girls on a regular basis while they are still this young. Mostly the conversation that sticks in my mind is one I had with a gent in the lifts while loading all my stuff back into the car on Sunday morning. He said to me:

"It'll be hard to get back to reality tomorrow won't it?" Smiles.

I had Charli in my arms (as she wouldn't be put down) and was trying to steer a trolley full of the monumental load of crap that you have to take away with you when you holiday with two small children. I knew that Mackenzie was back in the unit screeching for a feed.

"Um, I brought reality with me."

He smiles sympathetically as he leaves the lift and says "yeah, been there, done that - it'll all be over some day".

Despite the stress that was this weekend I realise that I hope it won't all be over too soon. I'm not ready for them to leave the nest anytime soon. I love you princesses xoxox

One of those days...

Well dear readers it's been one of those days. And it's now nearly 9.30pm and I'm tired so this is going to be the reader's digest version.

Today the wardrobe man was coming so that we could finally have a grown up bedroom and not one that looks like two 19-year olds are sharing a college dorm room.

The weather forecast is 34 and humid.

I ring the wardrobe company and they are not due until 12.30pm - right when Charli will be due for her sleep.

At about 9.30am we're watching TV, I have 2 air-conditioners on and I throw a load of laundry in the dryer because I'm a lazy housewife who couldn't be jacked going downstairs into the hot day to hang the washing out.

I'm feeding Zie and she lets loose with a bottom burp to end all bottom burps and when I stand up I have baby excrement running down my legs onto the brand new turkish rug.

I call to Charli to get me the baby's sheet (i.e. wrap) and bring it to me. Charli looks at me with her new look "I know what you're asking me to do but you know, I just don't feel assed doing that for you right now".... I bribe her with something - it may have been an ice-block, I don't recall. She finally finds it in her heart to bring me the wrap so I can wipe up the mess rather than traipsing it through the house.

As I'm changing Zie's nappy, the stereo/TV goes BANG and I lose power - bloody hell - too many appliances, I've blown a damn fuse again. Now I'm becoming fairly accomplished at fuse changing so I head downstairs with a teatowel to take out the fuse....but then I realise that the computers have gone off - and that can't be right as they are on a separate fuse thingy...... I check the fuse and sure enough it's still intact. Hmmmm. Go upstairs, turn on the lights (again a separate fuse box) - nothing. At this point I call my neighbour (their car is there) but she does not answer and I suspect she is in labour (she is overdue to have her baby at this point).... so I leave a message saying I've lost power and am wondering if they have to. I don't hear back... which is fair enough :)
I call our neighbours over the road - and guess what? They have power.

I call energex. They are not aware of an outage in Mitchelton and they log a call to the service men.

My baby is screaming because it's hot and my toddler wants to play hot games such as pretend mummy is a horse-y and mummy let's jump up and down in this bleedingly hot weather!!

Energex arrive - the power box on the pole has totally shat itself and they log another call for a bucket truck to come out and replace it. this will be another 1.5 hours or so.

We are now melting in the heat.

I call the wardrobe company to check that any power tools they require are battery/rechargeable. They are not. They will have to cancel my wardrobe and come another day. This is not an option as far as I'm concerned as things are stacked against every wall and we can't move for the crap that is waiting to find its new home in the new wardrobe. Plus I've been waiting 5 weeks for this wardrobe. They suggest we could run an extension cord to my neighbour's house. I am reluctant to call the possibly laboring woman to ask if I can use their power (as it turns out she was labouring - or had already labored - they were up at the hospital having left their car at home and are now the proud owners of a new baby boy!!!)..... I hope that their laundry downstairs is unlocked and take it upon myself to okay this suggestion to use the neighbour's power. I run next door once I'm off the phone, extension lead in hand and plug into their laundry.... I am yet to tell them that I've stolen electricity from them but know they won't mind :)

The wardrobe man turns up and starts using power drills. My now hot and bothered baby is still screaming and my toddler, upon hearing the drills, totally loses it and also wants 'up' in mummy's arms... lord. After 10 minutes playing in the back yard energex come back and fix the electricity and finally I can ramp up the aircon, seat Charli in front of the telly, and set about cooling and calming the baby........ Having had no nap, Charli falls asleep in front of the telly jsut as the wardrobe guy is finishing up.....she looks adorable and I reluctantly let her stay on the lounge - knowing this will result in a less than long sleep but she looked so nice and cool.

So, wardrobe is installed. Electricity is back on. Toddler is asleep. Baby is calmer. All I needed at that point was stiff drink - something I indulged in later that day at Sharon's after my incredibly over-tired toddler screamed 'car' more than 50 times before I decided it was just best to take her for a drive rather than hear her incessant whinging.......

I just love these days when you are sorry that you ever tumbled out of bed in the first place - and speaking of bed..... Night.

Politically correct eskimos boost blog readership

Well how's this? I check my statcounter for recent visitor activity, because that's the kind of narcissistic gal I am :) and I find that someone in Boston Mass in the USA has been to my blog. I visit the link to see where they were directed from and lo and behold it's a google search. Apparently my post that mentioned that we should refer to eskimos in the more politically correct way 'inuit' came up sixth in a google search of 'eskimo politically correct' - how funny is that? Bet that person - no doubt researching something for school - was bitterly disappointed that I was unable to provide them with more useful information.

SPAM with manners

It's nice to see that if my inbox is going to be inundated with SPAM that it is at least polite spam. Today in my inbox I received a message telling me that a message that I had tried to send had failed. I hadn't actually sent a message to this recipient - it's one of those spams that say you've sent email even when you haven't. But don't you just love the politeness of the message?

Hi. This is the qmail-send program at rs1.inst.or.jp.
I'm afraid I wasn't able to deliver your message to the following addresses.
This is a permanent error; I've given up. Sorry it didn't work out.

And I think anyone trying to end a relationship could take some good advice from this email. Simple yet to the point. "I'm afraid this relationship is not going to work out. This is a permanent error. I've given up. Sorry it didn't work out". There's no ambiguity there is there? LOL

But Rembrandt was not afraid of baths

Or at least I am going to assume that he was not. And that is why painting would have been so much more enjoyable for him. Or at least his mother. Not that his mother was probably still bathing him when he was an artist..... but who knows, those artsy types can be weird :)

Anyway, the point of all of this is that today I decided to let Charli loose with some poster paints and her art easel. Partly because I wanted to paint her toy oven and thought that it was only fair that she too be allowed to paint, and partly because I feel that I've been a little remiss in not allowing my nearly 2 year old to discover the joys of painting. I was wrong. She should not have been allowed to play with paints until she was also old enough to date - and if her father has anything to do with that then we are talking at least another 20 or 30 years!!

So here is the artiste herself....



Though more paint seemed to end up on her than the easel...


And here is where the problems really began. See all the paint in her hair...??



It is at this point that I realise that wiping a wet washer over her to clean her up is no longer an option. A bath is called for....with hair washing......and much scrubbing. Which leads me to suddenly remember that as of a week ago my child is terrified of baths (or showers in case that was going to be your suggestion). And when you throw 'hair washing' into the equation, well toss me a valium and pour me a vodka because our house is about to become filled with screams of terror that rival those heard in any funhouse carnival across the country. My heart sinks as I realise that the bath is inevitable....... its that or let her stay on the back porch painting forever but somehow that doesn't seem feasible.

So into the bath we go. The screaming begins. Shampoo is added to the equation and the screaming ramps up a notch. Normally I try and gently wash the shampoo from her head but by now she's thrashing so much and has managed to get paint and shampoo into her eyes and the screeching is doing my head in... I realise that if it's going to be this painful it may as well be fast and painful so I do something that will speed up the process but was also guaranteed to send her into a frenzied panic (and I was not disappointed). I turned on the shower. To my shock and surprise, when presented with enough motivation, my two year old can flip herself out of the bath onto the floor...... of course I had the shower hose in my hand so when i turned to try and catch her, water flew everywhere and there was no option at this point except to throw myself into the shower (fully clothed) with her and just hose her down. My ears are still bleeding from the noise!

So there you go - art time at our place ended with a toddler sobbing in her bed and a mummy desperately wishing that it was not too early to start drinking at 10am (that is too early right?). Let's hope Dave appreciates the masterpiece she did him.

People in glass houses....

So on my current theme of de-cluttering and cleaning I've been reading some interesting stuff on hoarders and their personality types (not surprisingly to me, hoarders are known to have perfectionist traits). Now it is fair to say that one thing I most often nag my husband about is his inability to throw things away. His favourite catchphrase is "it might be useful one day" and lo and behold the other day he took great delight in pointing out to me that he was indeed using some of the old wood that he had stored up under the house. I was monumentally proud (rolls eyes) LOL

Anyway, in my recent days of de-cluttering I realise that I too hoard to a great extent it is just that my reasons for hoarding are different. While Dave hoards things in case they may one day become important, according to a website I found about obsessive compulsive disorder, I seem to hoard things that one day in the distant past were important to me. Apparently my inability to throw away a little box of badges (the kind you stick on your shirt - I used to collect these for god knows what reason) means that I am afraid that in some way I am letting go of some part of my life, no matter how seemingly insignficant. And I can totally understand that. When I open this box of trinkets and see the Tangalooma badge that I got at Grade 5 camp or the TAA wings I got when I flew on an aeroplane for the first time when I was 10 years old. ..... well these things make me smile. And they prompt memories that were long since forgotten. Perhaps it is for this reason that I find it so difficult to let these seemingly small and insignificant objects go. But then what does one do about the clutter? Is there some way to retain these memorabilia without your house becoming like this?

Motivation to de-clutter dies after realising it's not that bad

Dave sent me a website address today to make me feel better about just how cluttered our house is not....... I no longer feel the need to de-clutter like a maniac. I'll just keep it neat like a normal person does. I have de-registered from FlyLady after receiving a total of 39 emails from her yesterday regarding keeping my house clean. I spent so much time reading the emails there was no time left to clean.

Who put the cat amongst the pigeons?

So how is my Day 2 of keeping the house clean going I hear you ask? Well, firstly let me say that the sink is again not polished. Nor will it ever be....this is not a suggestion I am willing to take on board in the hopes that it will somehow improve my life. I am willing to take that risk. I did manage to shower and put on some make-up but at the point when my hair was about to be done everything went a little pearshaped so I'm afraid I failed on being totally ready to start my day 'dressed to laces' according to FlyLady.net

In the interests of balancing my new 'de-cluttering' with other forms of entertainment, my godson and his mum visited this morning and when charli suggested we 'eat chits' (translation: feed the chickens) I thought that would be something fun for the kids to do together. Note: we don't own chooks, we are just feeding them for our next door neighbours who are away at the moment. Charli absolutely loves feeding the chooks and in fact it has become her catchphrase every morning "chits? chits?". I have to convince her that mummy is not ready to face chickens before she has had breakfast and at least got out of her pyjamas. Somehow going to feed the chickens while still wearing my pyjamas just does not seem right. I'm not sure why. I am sure they would not be offended.

Anyway, so over we go to feed the chickens (two eggs today!!) and there is a pigeon flying around in the caged henhouse!! How he got in there I have NO idea but the fact is he could not get out and was going psycho! So we let the chooks out into the yard in the hopes that the pigeon would just mosey on out the door and fly away....... but nope (stupid bird) - he just keeps flying around in a mad panic and then hitting the floor. I go to walk into the enclosure further than my customary 1 m when i spy this HUGE spider in a web at about face height and all thoughts of valiantly saving the pigeon are erased from my mind - he can figure it out himself! I decide to leave the chooks in the yard for the day and hope the pigeon leaves the henhouse before nightfall when i'll have to return the henhouse to its rightful owners.....

However not 10 minutes later a huge black cat is chasing the pigeon around the henhouse and then heads out for the chooks. At this point i just want to get the chooks back into their henhouse before they get attacked (no chicken is gonna die on MY watch!) - the pigeon finally got smart and took off out of there and the chickens got chased by two over-enthusiastic toddlers back into their cage. And so ends another rather non-productive day in my household - not one thing was de-cluttered but I'd be keen to hear FlyLady's take on how to manage all of her housework and keep the cats out of the henhouse. Surely even she couldn't manage it???

Day 1 of de-cluttering - a sparkling sink?

well according to FlyLady, in order to start on my 31 day path to de-cluttering my house and restoring order to my otherwise dis-orderly home and life, today I was meant to undertake just one task. This task was to set me on the path to a cleaner and brighter home life. This task? To shine my sink! yes you heard it folks, take a scrubbing brush and silver polish and shine the kitchen sink. I have to ask WHAT THE ?? My urge to shine my freaking kitchen sink was somewhat overshadowed by my desire to even SEE MY LOUNGE ROOM FLOOR. Now there is a task that needed doing. But my kitchen sink?

So I did what FlyLady specifically said not to do and I leaped to Day 2 to see what monumentally important task was on the agenda for that day - and to be fair "get up and get dressed to laced shoes including hair and face" was an improvement on the kitchen sink polishing suggestion. I do find that one of my downfalls is not showering until sometimes midday. Not that I don't think that I have a perfectly decent excuse for poor hygiene practices some days. With a toddler who is nearly two and a newborn who has good intentions of sleeping but is kept awake by the aforementioned toddler, well you can imagine some days that the priority of hair washing takes a major backseat to just staying sane. But I digress......

So today I made it my task to get up and dressed before any of the children could awaken - a task made more urgent by the fact that the dishwasher repairman was arriving at 7am - or midday - or anywhere in between. I don't know why companies like to do this to you - in this day of modern technology when they have service calls logged on high-speed computers and mobile service vans equipped with all of the technology one could want - is it too much to ask that you narrow my service call timeframe to a little under 5 hours? But then I shouldn't complain really.... it's not like I had anything more important today than to polish my sink.

But back to getting dressed before midday..... I did take objection and refuse to go the laced up shoes - one doesn't really need their boots on to polish sinks or change pooey nappies in my opinion. I did however let my hair see a brush for the first time in two days and if 'doing my face' was achieved by the splash of water thrown in my eyes and the quick swipe of lip gloss across my lips then allow me to tick that task off for today.

I had a go at the de-cluttering in 15 minutes thing but to tell an a-type-personality that she has to 'de-clutter for 15 minutes and then stop and do this again tomorrow until all the clutter is gone' - well, why don't you just tell me to take a blunt kitchen knife and draw it repeatedly across my arm until it falls off in a bloody stump on the kitchen floor (I bet FlyLady has a great suggestion for cleaning blood stains off linoleum though don't you think??). I mean really, as if I could just stop cleaning after 15 minutes. If you want to de-clutter then you have to get serious about it - at least spend 2 hours moving the clutter from one room to the next until it all ends up in one room at the back of the house and you can close the door and pretend that room does not exist. So that is what I did. The lounge room is now looking half-way presentable and the kitchen is on the road to being fully de-cluttered by tomorrow. Of course we can no longer open the door to the computer room and David is just going to have to understand that it's time to give up his computers and get a new profession because, well I'm sorry honey, but we just can't get to the PC's anymore. We all have to make sacrifices to live a clutter free life.

I'll let you know how Day 2 goes.

Carla

Because I too need to de-clutter

To dear Michelle and Meegan and all my other friends who feel the need as Autumn is approaching (okay well not really but one day soon!!) to de-clutter their lives..... here is an extra special website by FlyLady - I'm starting on her baby steps beginners daily plan tomorrow..... I'll let you know how I go! Have fun de-cluttering and let me know how you go.

Carla

A Swiper Catastrophe

I am putting clothes away. Charli is watching Dora the Explorer. She comes running in, face full of concern.

"Uh-oh, Siper wa, Siper Wa, uh-oh. Mummy!!"
I look up, knowing full well what this means.

"Swiper {the fox} fell in the water did he?"

"Yes, Mummy! Siper, Wa, uh-oh, uh-oh"

This tirade of painful concern for Swiper the Fox - who is known for always swiping everyone's stuff, so I'm not so sure why she is concerned, I say let the fox drown - could have gone on for hours so I thought it best to intervene and lay her little troubled head to rest.

"It's okay Charli, Dora and Boots will save him."

I say this with a degree of authority that comes with having seen this show once or 65 times in the past 6 months. Plus Dora is essentially the queen of good deeds so let's face it, she isn't going to let that pesky fox drown.

Charli looks at me - the mummy who always knows best. She nods her head wisely. Yes, if mummy says that Dora will save him then it will be so. She smiles and walks away. Oh if only she will always believe me as she does at this moment.

What shall we do with a drunken sailor...

On the road to rehab?

One questions one's parenting skills when, after a few weeks of teething hell and copious amounts of panadol, nurofen and even naturopathic teething relief liquid later, one finds one's toddler playing in her room with a syringe, telling all of her teddies to 'open' while she pretends to squirt some form of pain-relieving drug into their stitched mouths. After each one she smacks her lips and says 'yum'.... too many drugs for her lately do you think?

A day for important events

Today is an important day. Not only is it the fourth anniversary of losing my mum, but I believe today would also have been Michelle's dad's birthday (am I right Michelle??) and.... dum da da dum...... Charlotte decided to grace this important day with her first sentence. Not that we were terribly impressed under the circumstances.... 8.30pm, still faffing around awake in the lounge - high on some sugar product that was no doubt offered to her today on an outing with her grandparents (!!, no probably not, they are not the type to offer her 'bad' foods, but why she is so awake at this time of night is a mystery to us!!)... and I say "charli I think it's time for bed" and she responds with (wait for it). "no sharli stay here"...... charming. Her first sentence is a defiant stance against bed time. This does not bode well.....

Is there an off switch?

I thought it about time for my own amusement to record Charli's vocab to date. Many of the following words are contextual - if you didn't have the visual you'd have NO IDEA what the word was but I'll include them all anyway as we seem to understand her most of the time :)

Mummy (today was shortened to Mum which was all too grown up!!)
Daddy
Nanny
Betts (Aunty Bekk)
Debbi
Sharli (Charli)
Sophie (just learnt that one today... normally she just gets called....)
Puppy!!
Dog
Mouse (for any creature that has whiskers including cats and bunnies!!)
Mop or Motz (milk)
Bubbles
Bar (Bath)
Beer... we're sure she isn't saying Beer per se but can't quite figure out what it is...... today in context it might have been 'better' but we're not sure!!
Sorrwee (Sorry) - this is also a new word..... most hilariously used to apologise to anything that she may bump into including table legs and the bed head... yesterday she accidentally stepped on my foot and bent down to kiss my feet and apologised..... will lap that one up while I can!!
Tank you or Ta
Biss you (Bless you) - for when you sneeze or cough or make any similar sort of sound!!
Bir (Bird) - she still seems to have problems with the ends of words
Narna (Banana)
Apple (for apples, plums or any other fruit that is vaguely round!!)
Cheese
Sketti (Spaghetti)
Side (outside)
Wotz (walk)
Bots (books)
Box
Blocks
Baby
Zie (for Mackenzie)
Pig
Slippy (sleepy)
Wee (this can mean a multitude of things, this week it means 'weed' as we've been gardening)
Pool
Spa
Up
Wa (water)
Chair
Wheel
Key
Hot
Ow (said a lot as she frequently walks into walls!! - she may have a motor skills problem!!)
Ear
eyes (for eyes and for glasses)
Mouth (this is used to refer to Zie's dummy which she often finds not in her mouth and then wants to give her.... despite Zie not liking the dummy!!)
duck
shoes
shirt
strawberry

okay - will have to come back and edit this post each day as I keep waking up and thinking of more words... and then I realise that each day I could be adding words and I may as well just in about a year add a link to the webster's english dictionary!!!

Who'd be a parent?

well things are absolutely crazy here. No time to even wee on my own let alone blog - not that you needed to know that!! Charli has decided that sleep is unnecessary and Mackenzie has gone from nice 3-4 hour sleeps with feeds in between to 2 hourly feeds and no sleeping unless being carried by mummy!! oh and she cluster feeds usually anywhere between 4 and 10pm for about 4 hours - it's insane!! arsenic hour has taken on a whole new meaning and after shutting the doors on two screaming children last night at 7pm dave and I stood in the lounge looking at each other in shock wondering how we were supposed to cope with every night like this!!

Add to this that my boobs feel like someone has taken a piece of sandpaper to both nipples and I'm not game to look in a mirror as I don't think my hair has seen a brush in about 5 days :)
Kids - who'd have them??!! :)

I think there is just too much going on at the moment - Dave and I are still madly trying to get Charli's new room painted so Mackenzie can move into her own room (she is currently in a cot next to us and she is A NOISY SLEEPER!!). Additionally we are trying to reorganise the kitchen and there are boxes strewn all over our house and I have no idea where anything is. Toss in the fact that as of yesterday Charli I think is a bit over Mackenzie taking up so much of our attention and today dive bombed her while I was feeding Mackenzie so I ended up with two kids in my lap - the smaller of which was none too happy about the large child on top of her - it's madness I tell you.

After discovering that Mackenzie will happily sleep on my lap while I shoot the crap out of bad guys in Tomb Raider on the XBox (but will not sleep in our room where it's all quiet), we have tonight put on some 'uterus' noises courtesy of the Steelcraft Light and Sound projector given to us by Libby after the birth of Charli. This did nothing for Charlotte (sorry Lib) but Zie has now been asleep for a record time of 20 minutes in her cot and touch wood we may have found the solution to her problem - it must be noisy to sleep!!! Of course the problem now is that she is in our room so we either have to a) sleep with uterus whooshing noises or b) turn it off and have an unsettled baby...... what a choice :)

Anyway, I'm off to either crash out or lay comatose in front of the telly. I keep telling myself this will get better - preferably by the time Dave returns to work...... it will get better won't it?

Our Christmas Eve Present

Hello there,
I've promised some of you that I would post the story of Mackenzie's birth. And so I shall. I've been a little remiss in doing this for a couple of reasons. 1) Who has the time with a newborn, a toddler and 1000 things to do around the house that should have been done before the baby came (i.e. get the second bedroom done) but alas were not...... not sure why - oh yes that's right, I was finishing my PhD!!! :) and secondly, the story is short. The entire labour and birth was speedy, and hence writing about it almost seems surreal, like did it actually happen? of course I only need to step into our bedroom and view this in her cot


to remind myself that indeed it did happen. And this is how it all came about......

'twas the afternoon before Christmas and all through the house, everyone was making lots of noise and vacuuming and playing loud music and squealing and it was really pissing me off!! :)
Like a cat about to birth her kittens, all I wanted to do was lie in a dark room and be left alone - which is exactly what I was doing. I had left Dave to deal with Charli and I was lying on our bed with the curtains shut, trying in vain to block out the noise and desperately just needing everyone to go away. This in itself really should have tipped me off that things were starting to happen, but they didn't. I just thought I was being grumpy :)

I was also getting some bad back cramps quite frequently but thought nothing of it - those of you who know me know that I had been getting quite bad practice contractions for the weeks leading up to this point, so as far as I was concerned this was just one more day of that fun! i was exhausted and kept falling asleep between these back pains - would get another one, wake up, it would ease and I would drift back off to sleep. Suddenly I was awoken by that feeling of 'oh my god I just wet myself, oh no hang on that would be my waters breaking!!' (note: time 2.30pm) ..... calmly I got up and headed for the bathroom. I ran into Dave on the way and suggested that we should discuss what to do with Charlotte as my waters had just broken. His eyes widened in disbelief and he headed for the phone to call his mum. Not wanting to talk to anyone I sequestered myself in the bedroom until Mother-in-Law had collected Charli. Dave told her if nothing eventuated we'd be back to pick her up that night - it was after all Christmas Eve..... we wanted our little girl close to us for Christmas morning.

Dave kept suggesting we call our midwife or head for the hospital but the pains I was getting were weird - nothing like I'd had with Charlotte and to be honest I was still not convinced I was actually in labour. They all sat low - just under my bump - and never radiated around my entire tummy like I knew that they should. Oh and the back ache - that just never went away by this time. We tried contacting our midwife on her mobile, at the hospital and by page but all went unanswered so we assumed she was occupied with another labour or some such and I finally decided that perhaps we should just throw the bags in the car and drive up to the birth centre and just 'see what was going on' - if she said I wasn't in labour then we could just head home and pick up Charli on the way.

Well, I'd say five minutes into the car trip and contractions were BITING..... I was facing backwards in the passenger seat as sitting normally was out of the question. Just as we pull up at the hospital my phone rings and its our midwife - I tell her we're downstairs and on our way up. Strangely my contractions are still all just under my bump and the back pain was quite strong by now....... yet I was still confused about whether this was 'it'.... after all, wasn't my entire stomach meant to be contracting?

3.41 - arrive in birth centre and get blood pressure taken and take prescribed antibiotics for my heart

Midwife goes to run spa but by now I know there will be no getting in the spa. This baby is on its way, despite none of the telltale all over tummy contractions happening. All I remember at this point is the amazing pressure in my bottom and my back (too much information?). This little girl was definitely sitting low and to the back and it was not nice!!

at 4.13 I get this amazing need to push and after hollering my way through it (I was definitely screaming my head off more during this labour - think of all those bad acting scenes you've ever seen with the woman screaming - that was me - I actually wanted myself to be quiet but just could not have kept my voice lowered if I'd tried).....I announced to hubby and midwife that it was my first push. My midwife commented "wow you don't muck around do you?" I may have smiled at that point, it's hard to know. The next contraction hit with such force it knocked the breath out of me - not good really seeing as IT NEVER STOPPED. This contraction went on for well over 2 minutes and I think I nearly yelled myself hoarse. I couldn't catch my breath and I remember thinking that it felt like this baby was coming out of my bum. Not a pretty picture I know, and my fairly extensive knowledge of biology meant that I knew it wasn't coming out of there, but holy moly...... ouch.

This second push was it........ the head crowned, I yelled for Dave to grab the camera, he got one shot squeezed off (I won't traumatise you by showing you that!!) and the little mite just fell right out. The relief was immeasurable. I reached down and picked her up and there's a photo of me holding her that depicts my pure relief/joy/ecstasy felt in that moment.
Some will say that I'm lucky to have such quick labours. And I won't deny that given the option of birthing this way and being in labour for 12 hours - well I'll take the 9 minutes of pushing thanks. But I would also like to point out that birthing fast has it's interesting points. Not the least of which is that it's all very surreal. In those few minutes after the birth, with Dave holding Mackenzie and I from behind, well we looked at her and I could see my bewilderment mirrored in Dave's eyes. We had our new daughter...... nine minutes of intense screaming and here she was. It was almost too fast. There was no time to pace around having contractions preparing yourself for what was about to happen. No time for Dave to lovingly stroke my hair and hold my hands while this baby slipped in and out of the birth canal. No time for any of that. She was just there suddenly. We came home that night - against medical advice of course!! - so that we could spend Christmas Eve at home in our own bed. And even hours later, Dave unable to sleep because he was so wired, me curled up in bed watching her sleep in the cot next to our bed - even then it all seemed like it couldn't possibly have happened. Our Christmas Eve present was born in a little under 2 hours.

That's the end of Mackenzie's birth story. But I must share with you the following photo - the Christmas Day present that we gave to Charlotte - her own little baby sister - well it outdid any of the other presents we or Santa gave her. The squeals of 'baby' that resulted on presentation of Mackenzie were priceless and will ring in my ears for many years to come.



I thank the universe each and every day for the two lovely little princesses that have blessed our lives and continue to do so every waking minute of my life.

And Santa said ..... and then there were four

Hello dear readers, 'tis I, back from the land of PhD submission but probably not going to be posting any more frequently as the universe saw fit to deliver us a beautiful baby girl for Christmas this year (okay well we say she's beautiful but yes we know she looks like a monkey - just like her sister did......we're going to keep her anyway ;) ).

You all know the stats by now so I won't post them on a public forum - I'm still mildly paranoid about sharing everything bar our medicare number to the wider world. But here is a photo to satisfy Michelle's curiosity :)

It's over

It's over, it's done. I wanted to write a really inspiring post about finishing my PhD thesis, but it will have to wait. The pure exhaustion that has hit me, coupled with re-acquainting myself with have Charli all day, every day..... well needless to say that bed is summoning at 7.30pm. Add to that the fact that - despite all logic - I did not sleep well last night after submitting. I spent the night dreaming of alternate titles, and re-arranging paragraphs. Ridiculous really. Still, the unconcious is not always a logical creature. If only I weren't pregnant a sleeping tablet would be downed tonight in the hopes of a dream-free sleep. But 'tis not to be. And speaking of baby - COME OUT NOW!! You have permission and I've had enough ....

Final days of writing causes stroke in young female...

Seriously, if I had to continue on functioning at this level of stress for much longer than the 3 days that I have left until I submit, I think I would give myself a coronary. At my last ante-natal appointment, my blood pressure was normal - which means high for me because during pregnancy my BP is usually low (well when I say usually of course I am basing this on the ONE previous pregnancy that I have had LOL). So with any luck by next Wednesday, when I have my 37 week preggo check-up, I will back to my usual fainting-episode level of blood pressure. :)

Thanks everyone for your support in these final days.... it is very much appreciated. Don't think there won't be the bash of the year when this thesis is finally confered.... I'm not even waiting until graduation, the party will probably be about one week after I get the Dean's letter.....